Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
Angstmonster 21
Æ*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*Æ
* __ __ *
+ _____ ____ ____ ______/ |_____ ____ ___ ______/ |___________ +
* \__ \/ \ / __ \/ ___\ __\ \ _ \/ \/ ___\ __/__ \_ __ \ *
+ / __ \_ | \ /_/ >\__ \| | Y Y \<_> ) | \__ \| |\ ___/| | \/ +
* (____ /_| /___ /____ >|__|__|_| /___/__| /___ >|__| \__ \|__| *
+ \/ \/____/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ +
* 02.24.03 angstmonster issue 21 *
Æ*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*Æ
¡edited (poorly) by gir¡
<ch33z-1t> shut up you crazy angstmonsterians
§+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++¡contents¡++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++§
+ +
+ Brief words from gir +
+ I was Roped In tildaq +
+ war of the worlds ch33z-1t +
+ Surprise Me BMC +
+ Eskimo Spacial Intelligence oregano +
+ Positive Thoughts Steak +
+ +
§+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++¡contents¡++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++§
<oregano2k> whoa, I just got a bizarre idea so complex
that my brain shut down for a second
<asdff> 12 year olds are great
<trilokite> especially as a side dish
<girbles> who wants to download music illegally!?!?
<swissphil> no way du0d i'm straightedge
<Quarex> Well, we were tossing around ideas for our next film project earlier,
and the idea of "Goonies meets The Matrix" came up, and now I am
quite excited about that
<Quarex> We will just do a complete shot-for-shot remake of "The Goonies," but
Sloth will get to use wire-fu.
<Quarex> I, of course, will play Sloth. And Mama Fratelli. And every other
role.
---------------
: Brief Words :
: from gir :
---------------
Let me tell you a funny story about how this issue of angstmonster came to be.
After a stale period in the relationship, me and ch33z-1t decided it was time
to try our hand at something else: speaker sales.
You might have not noticed that we were gone, but we're back because our
speaker sales were so horrible. It was beyond us how anyone could NOT want a
pair of speakers for $2 dollars a pair. (Which turned out to be the magic
price people would pay for speakers. Makes sense though, pay TWO dollars for
TWO speakers and it's like getting the power supply for free!)
But on with the story... About a month ago, angstmonster stumbled upon a great
wealth of speakers. We didn't know what would happen with these speakers, but
we decided to take them all. (By taking them all, I mean in the upwards of at
least 100 different pairs of speakers in at least 3 different styles! THAT'S
CORRECT, 3 DIFFERENT STYLES TO CHOOSE FROM!) Early on, we planned to
incorporate the speakers into our tfile experience but that proved to be
unsuccessful when we realized that we couldn't coerce people into reading our
files if they included a pair of free speakers with every issue, since these
speakers don't adhere to ASCII standards.
We then decided to market the speakers but not as speakers... Rather we duct
taped a lot of speakers together and sold them as a terrorist prevention
shelter!!! We even threw in extra rolls of duct tape to make sure the
terrorist prevention shelter could be expanded to shelter things like SUV's in
case in a post nuclear environment the kid's soccer game wasn't canceled.
While lots of people liked the idea, no one could afford to buy anything to
protect their children because they were too busy paying high gas prices and
FUNDING A STUPID AS SHIT FUCKING WAR THAT IF IT WASN'T FOR OIL AND OTHER
SYMBOLS OF GREED AND POWER, WE WOULDN'T BE INVOLVED IN! (NOT THAT THERE IS
EVER A GOOD REASON TO BE INVOLVED IN OR WITH WAR. EVEN SPEAKERS AND TFILES
AREN'T GOOD REASONS TO START WARS! YOU KNOW WHAT, IF WAR EVER ASKS YOU OUT ON
A DATE YOU JUST STARE DEEP INTO WARS EYES AND TELL IT TO FUCK OFF! YOU'RE
WORTH SO MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT WAR COULD EVER PROVIDE FOR YOU!
Needless to say with such an anti-war position, it's really hard to sell pro
war survival supplies. Then ch33z-1t being the nut that he is, suggested that
we sell the speakers to people who don't have speakers and need a pair of
speakers so they can listen to music. I was so excited by his suggestion that
we made out for hours on end. And when we were done, his girlfriend got really
mad at me and called me some evil names the likes of which I shall not repeat
here.
It was after that makeout session that I realized angstmonster could achieve a
much greater potential as speaker salesmen than we will ever achieve in the
tfile writing business. Quickly and quietly we packed in our tfile writings
and drove off into the night to sell speakers.
Less than $50 dollars later and with a whole lot of speakers still left, we
came crawling back to our ezine. Angstmonster was an angry beast that lonely
Sunday night so we begged and begged until our little begging organs couldn't
beg anymore. Finally angstmonster took us back and said that she'd be willing
to help next time we try to sell speakers. So here we are, a day late, an
experience or two wiser, and with a boatload of speakers to sell at $2 a pair.
BUT! BEFORE WE BEGIN...
__ _ _ ___
/__/_\/\ \ /\ /\/-\ / /
\ \ /\ \/ \ V /\ /_\_\__
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 20:15:01 -0500
From: Tammy Jenkins <busy_redhead@hotmail.com>
To: dave@angstmonster.org
Subject: hey ch33z1t!
I loved your clip about the play boy party! Where do you come up with ideas
like that? I think you are so silly. I hope you don't mind me saying so
but I hope that you are single. I have some fun at night thinking about
you. Would you like to get to know me better? I think it could be fun
times between us!
Your Furture Red Head
p.s. I swallow just in case you wanted to know.
This is a rare treat for us. Angstmonster doesn't have many fans, so when one
of us gets an email about how good a job we did, we get hella giddy and
excited. If you've never seen a giddy tfile writer, it's a funny site. Not
that you'll be able to see us looking giddy if we read your email, but that
shouldn't stop you because we'll draw you pictures of us being giddy in future
issues. FOR EVERY PIECE OF EMAIL WE RECIEVE FROM OUR ADDORING FANS, WE'LL DRAW
ONE ASCII PICTURE THAT REPRESENTS THE GIDDINESS WE RECIEVED FROM THAT EMAIL!
NOW WE WILL CONTINUE WITH OUR REGULARLLY SCHEDULED ANGSTMONSTER...
------------------
: I was Roped In :
: by tildaq :
------------------
I was Roped In--------------------------------
This is the story of how I was "roped in," as they say in the west, to the
angstmonster.org newsletter. Gir and ch33z_it brought me a bag of chips. They
operate like the mafia, they do you a favor, you owe them a favor. When I
refused to write, I was held down and forced to drink ranch dressing until I
agreed to submit an article.
Recently when I told ch33z-it that I was going public with the information, he
pushed me against a brick wall at school and he proceeded to severely taunt me.
This did not stop me.
I have invented a time machine that I will use to go back in time and put a
kick me sign on Ch33z-it every day of his first grade class. I will then use it
to give myself winning lottery numbers. But I am getting carried away.
Literally, I'm being carried away by people in weird coats.
Punchlines to jokes-------------------------
Why America? why do we laugh at these words that when put together are
considered a punchline? I may never know. I have compiled a list of the
punchlines that I heard today. people laugh at these!
A pimp with a speech impediment.
Hi Tom.
Line dancing at the nursing home.
"No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
"Well, then I've definitely pooped in my pants."
Rhetorical questions-----------------------
Just before I heard each one of these punchlines, a rhetorical question was
asked. I think that there may be some connect between the punchlines and the
question. But what!
What Do you get when you mix me with George W. Bush?
So you pulled the condom off and said what?
What do you get when you mix 'Line dancing' and 'at the nursing home?'
69?
I pooped in your pants.
Jokes--------------------------------------
I have recently been informed the rhetorical questions precede punchlines.
They are called jokes. Too bad they aren't funny. But some things in life are
not funny. This tfile for example is not funny, or good. That's ok, that was
the point. Whaha
%`%`%`***`'BITCHES'`***`'BETTER'`***`'NOT'`***`'BOTCH'`***`%`%`%
<bujoe> there once was a man named girbles
<bujoe> then out of nowhere bujoe said
<bujoe> hi
girbles leaps from behind a snow drift and attacks
bujoe/#ezines swiftly defends, and tosses garbage girbles way
girbles rolls d20
bujoe/#ezines cries
%`%`%`***`'BITCHES'`***`'BETTER'`***`'NOT'`***`'BOTCH'`***`%`%`%
---------------------
: war of the worlds :
: by ch33z-1t :
---------------------
When times are rough and species start to die, there will remain only two. The
frogs and the zombies. The frogs are an illustrious society, ruling over all
the ponds and lakes. Ocasionally a big shot frog will come in and try to
challenge the king frog, Misso Frog. He is one bad bitch, many of hot-shot
frogs have come to challenge him. However none have succeeded. The leader of
the zombies is one of the only coherent zombies out there. He can think and
eat(brains of course), and do many other things. Like even shoot a gun. His
name is Bug, the king of the zombies. Bug and Misso Frog got along for a very
long time, frogs and zombies lived in peace for a very long time. Until that
one fateful day. A mindless group of young zombies, fresh out of college, came
strolling around the lily pad. This was not a wise idea, considering the frogs
that lived around there were African frogs. These frogs were known to bus'
caps in frogs asses. Well this group of zombies saw a baby frog and decided
they were going to kill it. They ganged up on the infant frog and caused it's
demise. They sat around laughing at the frog for many minutes. The cackling
of a zombie can be heard for millions of miles away, which is how far they were
from Zombie Country. No zombies heard this cackle, but many African frogs did.
The frog gang called the fly bloods just so happened to be in the area. They
jumped over as soon as they could, only to see the zombies leaving. However
one zombie stayed back, he stomped on the frog many of times. Laughing harder
after each one. The gang jumped this zombie. Him being the pussy zombie, you
know the kind to hit a man after his friends have kicked the guys ass, he could
not defend himself. The frogs beat him to a pulp then ripped his head off.
They launched the head into his group of friends. They knew what exactly had
happened, not wanting any piece of the fly bloods, they ran. This is what
started the frog/zombie war. The zombies responsible for this were caught
before leaving the lily pad. They were executed kermit style, and sent to Bug
by a messenger zombie. The shipped him in a package. When Bug received this
package he was throughly pissed. But he did not want to declare war yet on his
good friend Misso Frog. He called a meeting of the two. Misso Frog decided
not to go, but little did Misso Frog know, Bug only wanted to kill Misso Frog,
so he was setting him up. This did not please Misso Frog. He sent a suicide
bomber frog to take out the Zombie capital building. While waiting for this
attack to begin, the bomber was found out by a renegade group of zombies,
pretending to be frogs. This group were deadly zombies, they hunted down and
exterminated the bomber. Once again Misso Frog was not happy. He then started
to amass a huge army of frogs. Trained to do only one thing, kill. Bug also
amassed a huge zombie army to kill the frog population. The war began. Frogs
and zombies were dying in seconds. This was the most equal war ever. For
every frog to die, a zombie died. Many days passed, and nothing had been
resolved by the war. Each race was losing men by the second. But neither
commander was willing to back down. Misso Frog had even put on a Lily Pad Army
uniform and went out and fought. He was a bad motha fuckin frog. He killed
more zombies then any three frogs combined. Bug did not want any part of the
fight, until he had heard the Misso Frog was fighting. He wanted to kill him,
he then wanted to eat Misso Frog after he killed him. Bug decided to put on a
Zombie Country uniform and start cracking frog skulls. He went out and found
his zombie army starting to lose more men than killing men. Zombies seemed to
be stricken with a serious illness that the frogs were immune to. The frogs
kept pushing the zombies further and further into the Lily Pad. Bug did not
like the sound of going further into the Lily Pad. He thought Misso Frog had a
trick planned for him, which he did. There were many frogs that were not
enlisted in the army but were willing to fight. The week before Misso Frog
went into action, he laied a plan out that would kill all the zombies. The
civilians would be used. The zombies were playing right into the plan. Going
further and further into the Lily Pad. The civilians were armed and ready.
Bug was leading the retreat, and since he did not know where he was, he just
kept running. Then it happened. Misso Frog had hired the fly bloods to take
out the zombies. Bug was hit first, then all the generals. One by one they
all fell. There was only one zombie left. A fair maiden that caught the eye
of Misso Frog. He commanded the fly bloods to stop and release her, as he
wanted to have his way with her. He brought her into the palace, and made her
stay in a room until he was ready for her. She was terrified and pissed at the
same time. She had an alliance to the zombies. Misso Frog walked in and
started to undress the zombie, then he saw it. The very thing that would haunt
him forever. She had the mark of Zombie Country royalty. He stepped back and
asked why she had this mark. She replied she was the daughter of Bug. This
shocked and saddened Misso Frog. He could not take the virginity of the zombie
king. So he started to walk out. At this point she jumped up and called him
back. He came hopping over. She hugged him for sparing her life. Misso Frog
felt a sharp pain in his back, she had stabbed him. Then the last words Misso
Frog heard were: "once a zombie, forever a zombie". He died right there in his
mistresses bed. She tried to walk out but was stopped by the security. They
knew she had killed Misso Frog. This was an executable offense in the Lily
Pad. She had no trial or anything. They just sat her in the town circle.
Frogs could come by and do with her what they wish. But at the end of the day,
in 6 hours, she was to have her head cut off. Sitting outside she realized the
errors in her ways and wanted to make love to a frog before she died. She
found some helpless frog and made sweet love to him, not knowing that a zombies
reproductive process is much quicker than any other species. She became
pregnant by the frog and was to have a baby in 20 minutes. However, the day
ended in 18 minutes. She convinced her prince to talk to a doctor, to try and
let her stay alive to have their child. Somehow she was granted this and was
allowed to bear her child. She did so, and it was a beautiful little marijuana
plant. So the moral of this story is, when you smoke marijuana, you are
actually smoking a little baby from a frog and zombie. Harmless? I think not.
---------------
: Surprise Me :
: by BMC :
---------------
(the editor makes a note on "Surprise Me" Yes, it's true that the last
installment of angstmonster contained a file called "Surprise Me" that was
written by the great and famed ed! However, the surprises don't stop there.
In fact, the "Surprise Me" file shall be a regular occurence in angstmonster in
which anyone who wishes may try their hand at six lines that don't reflect on
one another in any way shape are form. go on, and surprise me. Oh and thanks
to BMC for the idea.)
I write you email with hundreds of words and then delete the whole message.
I masturbate into wastepaper baskets.
My eyes have rods and lots and lots of CONES.
If I could change my name a thousand times it might end up always being more or
less the same.
A broken dryer is a great place to SLEEP.
-------------------------------
: Eskimo Spatial Intelligence :
: by oregano :
-------------------------------
The story behind this file is more interesting
than the file itself. I was told by our dear editor
gir that his girlfriend was a master at coming up with
swell ideas for textfiles approriate for angstmonster
and the angstmonster audience but a bit on the shy
side when it comes to actually putting pen to paper
and exableritating her thoughts to fully polished
articles. Having not had any decent thoughts for a
text file for this issue, I decided to put gir's
girlfriend to the test and asked gir to ask her for an
idea, she came up with "Eskimo Spacial Intelligence"
and so now, with no further adieu is a piece called
"Eskimo Spacial Intellingence."
- - - -
Raven reached for the pen but her arm shot out too
far, well past the desk, in fact almost to the far
wall. Her sense of where things are was a little off.
Raven is an Eskimo. Eskimos are not well known for
their spacial intellengince, in fact most of them
cannot navigate a room full of stalagmites in pitch
dark carrying heavy pails of water, unlike say the
average school age child. It is thought that since
Eskimos live on flat land with nothing but snow and
ice for miles and miles that they never needed to
develop ways to see in their mind where anything was.
And since everything is white there was not too much
use for vision, except to capture the occasional baby
seal, though most of the time eating snow was good
enough.
Raven is a typical 8 year old child. Except that
she eats raw meat and grunts and makes clicking sounds
instead of speaking. She can read at a normal 3rd
grade level but prefers to use a book as a raft to
take her out to ice flows to kill polar bears which
have been stranded on the floes.
Malahut on the other hand is a 46 year old
engineer who uses a different kind of spacial
intelligence in his line of work. He works for the
department of defense and spies on other countries to
get information on thier rocket ship capabilities.
In conclusion, Eskimos are good at some types of
spacial intelligence and bad at others. If you are
considering hiring an Eskimo, whether it is a 8 year
old girl or a 46 year old male, please take these
factors into account.
Thank you, and goodnight.
Postscript:
I am not going to bother editing this file, I think
the improv aspect should be left alone. This file was
made possible by a generous $5,000 grant from the
Shmeerson-Leeman Foundation. The views of this file
do not reflect those of gir or gir's girlfriend.
Rock it.
---------------------
: Positive Thoughts :
: by Steak :
---------------------
Do you hate everything and everyone? Does it feel like everyone out there
against you? Do you feel useless, like someone is trying to lock you into a
lifestyle that you don't like or want? Do you feel that people are only there
to show you how worthless you are?
Then change.
Positive thinking is the best thing that I have come across in recent months,
as most people who are at all close to me will know I was a little depressed a
short while ago. It was mostly over a girl, though technically the whole world
was to blame, anyway that doesn't matter anymore because I found a way out of
it, and I was lucky to find it because it was the only way that there was. The
metaphysical exit door I'm talking about is positive thinking.
A lot of people think that the only possible way that they can be happy is by
letting outer stimulation influence their moods. When something bad happens you
get sad, and you stay sad until something good comes along to make you happy.
Well I've got news for you, there are not many "good" things in this world, in
fact most things in this world will make you sad mainly because they aren't
that nice. So what can you do? If you're in anyway normal you will probably
spend a very long time being sad and dwelling on the problems that you think
are making you sad.
Well I used to be like that, and I would still be like that if it weren't for
the strength and patience of a few select people close to me who I now owe my
happiness too, and because of the wonderful feelings that I got from the things
these people taught me I want to try and pass the message on to you.
If you are feeling down, depressed or just feeling any unwanted negative
emotions whatsoever and your reading this file then I hope that after you've
finished you will have gained knowledge of some tricks and techniques you can
use to make yourself feel better in any situation.
You have heard me talk about positive thinking, and I guess you are wondering
what it's all about. Well it's the ability to be happy in any situation that
the world might put you in.
Lets back track for a second, if your feeling like shit then I imagine that one
of the things you know a little bit about is emotion, you've probably been
there before, at a stage where nothing seemed worth living for, where the whole
world seemed against you.
Well think about it, what have you got to live for? If I know depressed people
then I imagine that there is actually quite a lot, but your not letting
yourself admit it. Think back to the last time you felt this way, I reckon
there was at least the rest of your life stretching out in front of you
(unless you had a terminal disease or something, in which case chances are you
aren't reading this file)
The whole world also wasn't against you, did everyone in the world get up and
say "I hate that guy, I'm against him?" No they didn't. There are people out
there that don't even know you (unless your bill gates or something, in which
case chances are your not reading this file) I'm sure that one of them would
like you if they got to know you, and even if they didn't that doesn't matter,
you have yourself and you have the most introspective wonderful relationship
possible with that person.
Anyway, back on track with emotion again, to have an emotion you must have a
thought. For instance lets say your in my old place, your depressed about a
girl the only thing you can think of is something along the lines of "she's
never coming back, I'm going to have to face life without her" and then that
whole wave of sadness hits. Well don't let it, as soon as you get the first
inklings of that thought push it out of your mind. It's the past, it's gone
you have no control over it anymore and no amount of worrying will change that,
so what's the point in getting all upset about it?
Which leads me onto my next topic, which is trying to pull your concentration
away from the past and the future and into the present.
The present is all there is, the past doesn't exist anymore, it's only a
hypothetical collection of present moments that are no more. Likewise the
future doesn't exist, it's only a collection of present moments that could
possibly be.
So why is it worth worrying about things that have happened in the past or
things that are going to happen in the future? Answer: it's not. You have to
live in the present moment, and do what the present moment commands of you,
every moment that you spend thinking about the past or worrying about the
future is a moment wasted. One day you'll be dead, and then you won't have any
moments to worry about full stop. So enjoy the ones you have at the moment.
If you decide that the past is too important to put aside for the moment then
your never going to get better. You will spend the rest of your days going
deeper and deeper into the downward spiral of depression and you will end up
like Henry Rollins, permanently either that or you'll start shitting out evil
smelling black stuff (this actually happens to depressed people........
APPARENTLEY!)
Look you have the power within yourself to close the door on the past, its not
easy and often it can be downright painful but it is something you really need
to do to be able to get on with your life, you need to have control over
yourself and your existence to be able to make it a happy one.
If your down then I wish you the best with your getting up again efforts, it's
really worth it.
`-(-)-THEM-(-)-CRAZY-(-)-SCIENTISTS-(-)-`
"You can't say cannabis is safe any
more than you can say tobacco is safe.
The health message is clear - don't be
burning vegetable matter and inhaling
it."
-Robin Taylor, an associate professor
at the Dunedin School of Medicine in
New Zealand
`-(-)-THEM-(-)-CRAZY-(-)-SCIENTISTS-(-)-`
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
There is not enough ANGST!
What should we do?
A modest proposal:
I call for an an an an an an an ANGSTMONSTER theme issue!
If you can create the most FUCKING angst in this "FULL OF ANGST" issue, Gir
will reward you with...
A chic-fil-A super chicken sammich.......or (more than likely) something of
lesser value.
points..................................
.
.
will be
awarded .
by the
r e a d e r s o f _________________
.................... ... ... .. ..........................................
A N G S T M O N S T .0rg
A N G S T M O N S T E .0 rg
A N G S T M O N S T E R .o r g
A N G S T M O N S T E R .o r g
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- \\
[--A---N---G---S---T---M---O---N---S---T---E---R---D---O---T---O---R---G--] >
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- //
A N G S T M O N S T E R .O r g
A N G S T M O N S T E R .O r g
A N G S T M O N S T E .o rg
A N G S T M O N S T .org
[goto: http://www.angstmonster.org]
Are you up for the challenge?
Don't forget to remember to make it creative....none of this, "I'm angry" b.S.
(pardon my tfile). I must emphasize creativity
C C
R r
E e
A a
T t
I e
V something w o n d e r f u l, or don't c
r
I e
a
T t
e at all.
Y /==============
/_/________________
/___/___________________
-----------------------------------------------------/-----------------------
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN N
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG G
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT T
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM M
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT T
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR R
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF F
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU U
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC C
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK K
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR R
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
tildaq's made it official. In addition to the baked potato theme issue we are
planning, there is a special contest issue in which all of the readers of
angstmonster can participate! All you have to do, is send in an angsty
submission, the angstiest of the angsty and we'll see who will be declared
THE ANGSTIEST ANGSTMONSTER EVER!!!! THE DEADLINE FOR THIS WILL BE MARCH 23rd
2003 BY MIDNIGHT. (THE MIDNIGHT IN BETWEEN SUNDAY AND MONDAY) SO IF YOU WANNA
GET DOWN WITH THE ANGSTNESS, GET TO WRITING SOMETHING ANGSTY AND DOOM!!!!
æææææææææææææææææææ
æ Æfterthought(s) æ
æææææææææææææææææaæ
When I first came back to school, I made a joke about refusing to go to class
in the name of angstmonster. I never thought such a harmless joke would seal
my fate as a class skipper in the name of writing tfiles. I feel so dirty,
like a forgotten Hollywood starlet who hangs out on street corners looking to
meet all sorts of sketched out men who are interested in a good time. After
all, when's the last time you passed by someone who was interested in a good
time who didn't have an air of sketchiness about them? A rough sketch even,
the sort of character you give birth to on the sidelines of your class notes
because whatever the professor is going on about, no matter how interesting,
might be passing through you. Funny how some of us have this attention to
details that prove of no use to us later on in life and when all the stuff that
really counts is being said, we're too bored to care.
Score on for apathy, cause apathy's a fine beast.
_____
/ |\ |\ /\ |\ |
\ | | |/ |/ < > |/ | *
/ |_| | | \/ |\ | *
http://www.bubblemonkey.org/cheesencrackers/ !CHEESENCRACKERS!
http://www.neo-comintern.com *THE NEO-COMINTERN*
http://turd.angstmonster.org THE UNDEAD RISE, DAMMIT!
http://www.textscene.com CURRENT TEXTFILE SCENE
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?
What you have just read was a step into the unknown spontaneous and poorly
edited thoughts for sharing collectively known as "Angstmonster." All thoughts
on the matter can be sent to <gir@angstmonster.org> or you can just visit the
site http://www.angstmonster.org and see what you think. Submissions of all
sorts are welcome! Everything from prose and poetry to rants and opinions,
creative text art, recipes for yummy food, reviews of stuff, etc.
Thanks and enjoy your day...
copy-spwep 2003 issue 21
angstmonster.org 02.24.03
Feel free to redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the
content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any
part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. (and stuff)
