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| ANUS \______________________________________________________
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| H O U S T O N B L I N K I E L E T T E R -- N O V E M B E R 1 9 8 9 |
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| Issue Two Number Two |
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| [ American Nihilist Underground Society ] |
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| "If it's not nailed down...it's free." |
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|_____________________________________________________________________________|
Lifting Tips and Techniques
---------------------------
One technique that Cd has used effectively when acquiring new and
interesting merchandise takes advantage of the courtesy of certain large
department stores. These stores will usually have a bag vending machine near
the entrance to the store that dispenses large paper bags with the stores' name
on them for quarters. Department stores intend for their patrons to buy these
bags to help them carry the abundance of merchandise they foolishly bought at
the store. An experienced shoplifter can easily use these bags to his
advantage.
The easy way to take advantage of these conveniences is to walk into
the mall wearing a sweater or jacket you don't need to wear of fairly expensive
manufacture and buy a bag. Take off the extraneous clothing and dump it into
the bag. Carry the bag normally, as if you had just bought the item at
whichever store sold the bag.
When you walk into any other store, they will notice the bag and figure
you have just come from the store that sold it. Quietly fill up your bag with
all sorts of new and interesting goodies, and then dump it all in your car.
With several friends, successful use of this method can easily net a thousand
dollars worth of merchandise.
Of course, the ultimate challenge using this method is to get something
like an Apple //c or Commodore 64C from a mall computer store, but this would
require planning and security system scouting until nausea occurrs. However, it
would probably be worth it for bragging rights, and besides, who could turn down
a free Commodore?
More ComputerCraft tips for Apple owners
----------------------------------------
ComputerCraft has always tried to please Apple computer and rip off the
customers at the same time, so they usually follow Apple policy. Since Apple's
current idea of a good way to run a business is to push the Macintosh and
de-emphasize the II line to a great degree. As a result, ComputerCraft displays
the Macintoshes closer to the center of their stores, and keep the //e's, //c
Pluses and IIgs's on the fringes of their display islands. Since ComputerCraft
is too cheap to buy security cameras, there is ample opportunity for an average
Apple owner to pick up a disk drive or two.
This method requires that you actually buy one of ComputerCraft's
overpriced MousePads or a box of disks. Since both give you roughly the same
size bag, it doesn't really matter which you pick, so get whatever you need or
whatever is cheaper. Quietly slide up to the purchase counter and buy some
"Mac" disks. They'll figure you're another computer-illiterate Macintosh
person, and will either try to charge you $200 for the disks or just smile and
laugh inwardly at the poor shmuck paying twice what he should be for ten
one-megabyte disks.
Go over to the IIgs, //e or //c Plus with a big goofy smile on your
face and start playing with it. Draw programs are the best, since you can draw
something incredibly stupid, like a big blue smiley face, and salespeople will
smile and ignore you. Sometime as you are playing with the machine, look it
over carefully, concentrating especially on the back. Find the connector for
the disk drive, modem or joystick that you want.
Most of Apple's equipment is fastened to the back of the computer with
a connector and "pseudo-screws": plastic-handled screws implanted firmly into
the connect head. Twist these clockwise until about a centimeter of screw shaft
is showing coming out of the connector head, away from the computer. Do not
actually remove the cable, but make sure it will come freely. Other devices
have real screws held onto the connector with metal restrictors; if you know
you are going for one of these (example: a joystick) have your Swiss Army knife
ready with the flathead screwdriver blade out. You will have to practice
beforehand to unscrew your object without alerting the ComputerCraft people to
the fact that you're about to lift something. Modem connectors are either
screw-ins into a serial port or Mini-8 connectors. These can be yanked out at
the modem end, since the cable isn't too important, but if the computer in the
display matches your computer at home it might be worth it.
Finally, become bored or exhausted with one of Apple's "powerful"
machines, and switch it off. As you get up, dump the contents of your bag
(disks, receipt) onto the display desk. Shovel everything back in, covertly
yanking out the desired peripheral and sliding it into your bag as well as the
stuff you actually bought. Inconspicuously make your exit, and go home to enjoy
a new life with another peripheral device for your Apple.
Since most ANUS members are Apple II people, this is what we commonly
go for, but keep in mind that an Apple II 3.5" drive will also work on a
Macintosh, and the same applies to modems and hard drives. As Apple continues
to try and kill the Apple II line, the more ComputerCraft and other mindless
retailers shove these machines into corners and forget about them, which makes
it easy for someone with nimble fingers to liberate disk drives, modems,
joysticks, small hard drives and even cards from their resting places.
However, any of this equipment is valuable to anyone, since even a Commodore
person could sell any of it for a substantial profit. Apple's 3.5" drives
retail at $330, Apple 1200 modems at $275 and hard drives at about $700 and up.
As a result, you can easily sell a 3.5" for $160, or an Apple 1200 for $100.
This leaves you a handy profit, since you only put in about $20 for a box of
disks, and came out with at least ten times that amount in stolen merchandise.
Another fun thing to do at ComputerCraft is to walk in with baggy
pants, play with a Macintosh and walk out with the mouse. Apple's mice are
mass produced for something like $1.50 each, and as a result are prone to
failure, especially if kept in dirty or humid environments. Naturally, many
people find their mice smoked after half a year's wear, and need another. So,
a mouse can fetch $30-40 depending on who you sell it to.
As mentioned before, ComputerCraft is a great place to get demo disks
to reformat for your own use, but they also have potential as a source of free
software. With a good knife, someone with quick fingers can casually walk down
the Apple IIgs software aisle, slash open a package and slip out the disks
inside. If this person is wearing baggy or loose pants, he can easily walk out
of the store with several new programs.
Keep in mind that ComputerCraft employees sometimes get tired of
ripping off unsuspecting customers, and play with the machines on the floor.
This explains why there are often game disks or program disks lying around the
computers. These disks can be gathered up with a couple quick hand movements
and probably won't be missed. I've encountered several AppleWorks GS disks in
ComputerCraft IIgs's, as well as a few games and several thousand worthless
demos.
Another Simple Scam
-------------------
If you attend an average American high school, there are incredible
financial opportunities open to you based upon two fundamental human faults:
the ability to be distracted and basic vicarious lust. Your average high
school student can be bribed or coerced into paying for any of the various
"soft-porn" magazines availible in most bookstores and some convenience stores.
Walk in some Saturday morning wearing jeans and a T-shirt, and walk around the
store. Check for security cameras and count personnel. Also, beware of mirrors
centered around the magazine rack. Usually, these mirrors can be re-directed
with a blow from your palm when no one is watching.
Generally, the soft porn magazines can be found at one of the corners
of the uppermost row of magazines, and are wrapped in blacked-out plastic. When
salespeople are not staring in your general direction, grab all but one of each
brand of magazine and stuff them in your backpack, which is conveniently
unzipped at the top, but has been held closed until now. When you've loaded up,
zip up and leave quietly, purchasing a candy bar on the way out to keep the
salespeople thinking you're "just another kid."
Take your booty to school and sell it to horny freshman, friends, etc.
for at least $2 above the sticker price. Usually, this will come out to be
about $6-7 a magazine. Steal ten of these and you've made a handy profit. If
you do this consistently, and hit a wide variety of stores so no one becomes
accustomed to your presence and then the lack of smut lying around, you will
find you can almost count on certain people to buy each month's issue. And, if
word spreads, enough people will come to you to put your profit into the hundreds
easily. It's a good idea to go into this scheme with at least one more person,
to take off some of the work load and serve as lookout.
Blinkie Probabilities -- Houston, Texas: November 1989
------------------------------------------------------
Yellow blinkies, especially those marked with the "COH-PW" (coh-poo) insignia
are most prone to have the "figure-eight" type bolt, consisting of a round bolt
with notches on two opposing sides.
Red and blue blinkies are most prone to have the regular octagonal bolt, and
are being re-distributed from several major construction sites. Blues are
disappearing, it seems that red blinkies are now the standard.
"Flasher Flare" blinkies are appearing at alarming amounts. These things are
possibly part of Houston's new, lowered budget plan, since they are too cheap to
cost much at all.
Blinkie Toolkit
---------------
Take a good backpack, large but not conspicuously so, and throw in the
following items:
1 Socket Wrench, 19 mm or 3/4 inch cup
1 pair of needlenose pliers Duct tape and scissors
5 Large paperclips, straightened
This contains the tools that will help you remove the three most common
bolt types in Houston. The first two are octagonal bolts, sometime bare and
sometimes shielded with a metal cup. The third type, a double-notched bolt,
can be removed with the needlenose pliers. The other types of bolts have not
been thoroughly examined yet, but it looks like "make your own tool" time. So
far, using epoxy molds has been suggested, but these do not attach well to most
other tools, and are thus worthless. New techniques we're working on include
making notch-bolt tools from wood and small bolts, and using forks to liberate
blinkies. The duct tape comes in handy when you cannot use the straightened
paperclips to turn off the blinkie, and don't want to cart around blinking
objects. An item that might have been included above is a pack of cigarettes
to provide alibi, but not everyone uses this diversion.
Blinkie benchmark
-----------------
This last weekend ANUS members stole enough blinkies to reach the 150
blinkie point and surge beyond. This has been for five months of intermittent
thieving, and we're surprised we've actually heisted this many. Contrary to popular
belief, ANUS members do not live to steal blinkies, and as a result dedicate
less than half of our weekends to actually getting the little blinkers. Often,
we are in a state of TITS, or "Too Intoxicated To Steal," and can't manage to
pilfer anything. Or, we're off doing many of the other subversive activities
we delight in.
However, this benchmark heralds the second stage of Houston's blinkie
runners: the drought. Right now, ANUS members and friends have lifted
approximately 200+ blinkies. The City of Houston has not failed to notice, and
the game is getting rougher. Several months ago, almost all of Houston's
blinkies were good-quality blinkies secured with a shielded octagonal bolt.
Today, less than half are. Houston is responding to us with new tactics and new
blinkies. Their main defenses are cheaper blinkies such as the flasher flare,
or newer bolts like the infamous "half-moon" variety, and use of older but still
proven deterrent designs such as the notched bolt. Blinkie running will not get
easier, but ANUS is ready to meet the challenge. With new members coming in and
training sessions being held about once a month, we expect not only a whole new
crop of blinkie runners but also increased proficiency on the average level.
This, combined with newfound financial resources gained from unwitting donations
by local merchants has increased our prospects in the future.
In the meantime, HBL's distribution is increasing. Locally it is
distributed on only one board for now, but all indicators point to new
distributions sights in the next month.
Grey Blinkies
-------------
This last weekend, two ANUS members went after the coveted grey blinkies
and discovered much about these vaunted objects. The most surprising discovery
was the construction. These blinkies use a regular black blinkie base and are
covered with a heavy duty case of grey plastic. As a result, they are bigger
than the usual blinkies and are used in areas that need durability in blinkies.
We found two or three on a local freeway, but they were mounted close to
thirteen feet above the ground. As a result, we could not liberate them at
the time, but results from our Research and Development department precipitate
a successful capture in future blinkie runs.
Sysop-User Contract
-------------------
[ The idea behind this is that if everyone puts this thing on their system,
and all users and sysops obey it, we'll at least have some form of standard for
fair sysop-user interaction on boards, and both sysops and users will have some
rights. This is especially needed in Houston, where a generally accepted
synonym for sysop is "fascist pig." ]
All new users on this system are to read the following document carefully
and take special note of the clause following this document.
As a user of this remote system, I agree that I will not pass on any
information about this system, its users or its sysops. I agree that I will not
report anything about this system, including its existence, to any law
enforcement agencies, journalistic agencies, software publishers or
telecommunications companies. I agree that I will not take any legal action
pertaining to anything found on this system, the sysops or the users. I agree
to abide by all of the rules of this remote system. I agree that the sysop has
the right to sue me for breach of contract if I violate any of the above
agreements.
As sysops of this remote system, we, the sysops, agree that we will not pass
on any information about any of the users on this system in any form, including
blacklists and sysop letters. We agree that if a user requests deletion he will
be quickly and permanently deleted from the user list, and no retribution will
occur and no information about the user will be passed on to others. We agree
that we will not discriminate on the basis of color, creed or political
orientation. We agree to support the basic rights of freedom of speech and
freedom of religion on our remote system.
[ Insert system rules here. ]
By logging on to this system, the user agrees to abide by the agreements and
rules listed above, and the sysops agree to abide by the agreements listed
above. If the user cannot abide by these rules and agreements, he/she must
log off now.
Hit L to Logoff, Anything Else to Continue.
The ANUS Mailbox
----------------
[ Recently, our correspondence with Apple was answered in an unprecedented
way by CEO John Sculley, who assured us that Apple has no intention of dropping
the Apple II line, and that the latest model proves that. We've all read it,
and it looks on the level to us! ]
Dear Captain Crapp,
I received your letter with much surprise. Of course Apple would do
nothing to try and cut off the Apple II line of computers even though we do make
about 500% profit from the Macintosh versus 421% from the Apple IIgs and IIc
Plus. We are even developing new Apple II products such as the new II+ Plus,
the statistics of which are below.
Apple II+ Plus:
o RGB color graphics, 48x48, 16 colors, 192x188, 7 colors and new improved
48x48 32 colors with speedy AppleSprite shape tables!
o 3.14 MHz clock speed. Runs II+ programs over three times faster!
o New lowercase function! Has a "SHIFT" key, an ingenious device developed
in the Macintosh research department.
o Built in 8" disk drive with 2100 ms access time.
o Has option for joystick port.
This incredible machine was developed by the four remaining Apple II
engineers at Apple: Murf Zenkov, Joseph Blowvitch and Charles Manson. Due to
the incredible cost of all 18 chips on the motherboard and the high-quality
Seagate 8" Frisbee Floppy Disk Drive, the cost of this machine is set at
$6200.00, but we expect it to drop by Christmas. Of course, the high-quality
AppleColor RGB Monitor will cost an extra $500, as will another 8" FFD, but
this, too, will drop over time. This incredible machine is bundled with the
following software and literature:
Dos 3.2.2 - the incredible operating system for 8" floppies
AppleWriter II+ - a word processing program that prints, too!
Disk Drive Option - use renowned high-quality Commodore 1541 disk drives on
your II++
Quarks - a full color video game for the II++ only! Beats anything Amiga,
Atari or IBM ever had.
Graphical interface software - allows you to eject disks with your mouse.
Apple stickers - we stick them on stuff made by other people, so why can't you?
Lifetime Subscription to all four Apple II magazines - two are defunct and the
remaining two have merged, but are currently filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy!
Catch all the details in the next issue!
"I'd rather be driving a Macintosh" sticker - just to remind you that only
MORONS buy Apple II's! I've worked all my LIFE just to make our new II models
as lame and overpriced as possible!
Fondly,
John Sculley, CEO
Apple Computer Corp.
The Law From Hell Has Arrived
-----------------------------
Texas is now the only state in the United States that has a law
enabling pigs to search your car and trunk without a warrant if they suspect
you are doing something illegal. This means, of course, that chances are your
average person out late at night will be stopped, and probably searched if he is
under about 25. This is the way our valiant pigs operate.
There are only two known defenses against this unconstitutional
apparition from hell. One, the obvious, is to hide whatever it is that needs
hiding carefully, as in the spare tire or in a hidden well around the back seat.
The second defense is to hurl whatever illegal items you are in possession of
out the window, and accept the littering rap instead of the MIP, felony or
possession conviction. Of course, this latter method should only be used when
it's very probable that the officer will search the car and find whatever it is
that needs hiding. Finding out when this is probable can be hard, but if it's
as obvious as being stopped for reckless driving with a bottle of JD in the car,
I'd take the littering rap.
As far as blinkie running goes, bring a large duffel bag and a separate
smaller bag full of miscellaneous clothes. Stuff all your blinkies in the
duffel and throw the clothes on top of them. It helps to bring a bedroll to
corroborate your story that you are "just spending the night at Joe's house."
Your average pig will simply snort, nod and let you go. If your car smells like
smoke or if your breath smells like anything remotely related to alcohol, you
could be going downtown, but if there's anal cause, there will probably be no
more than a cursory search of your car by the pig you happen to run into.
This is another one of the factors that is going to make blinkie
running more complicated and dangerous in the future. Hopefully, we can
continue outwitting the pigs successfully and "bring home the blinkies" time and
time again.
Heads Up
--------
Next issue will cover a wide variety of topics, including some new works
on shoplifting and a machine code tutorial for beginning Apple crackers. We'll
also report the latest on blinkie running and the official ANUS blinkie theft
count. And, we'll probably have some detailed information on police and private
security systems, where they're in use and how to defeat them. Until then, grab
a backpack and head for the nearest construction site and get yourself a blinkie
or several.
%-----------------------------------------------------------------------------%
| American Nihilist Underground Society |
| November 13, 1989 |
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| Chromatic Death/Captain Crapp/Royal Flush/Maximum Overdrive |
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%-----------------------------------------------------------------------------%
