Addendum Issue 042

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Addendum

 · 5 years ago

  

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 Addendum                                 Issue# 42  -  3rd May 2002 1:04am 
 URL: http://www.adden.tr.cx/ 
 Author : Steak, 
======================= We advise... ======================================= 
I can't sleep 

turning over again and again in an endless washing machine style 
circle 

I want to talk 

I'm lonely, lonely and scared 

scared of what will happen. 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

what will happen when I tell her. 

I'm in trouble 

I want to talk, but can't 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

this may be the last time, the last time I can here what I want to here 
I want to make the most of it 

I want to talk all night, possibly for the last time 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

I’m still scared, is this the end? 

I’m not evil, I'm just stupid, stupid and ignorant 

I’m also ashamed,  

and lonely. 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

I still can't sleep 

I feel really sad 

this is the calm before the storm 

in twelve hours I will know the answers 

but by then it may be too late 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

She said it would be on 

why is it now on? 

I need to talk 

to say what I am feeling 

I need to tell someone 

if not her, then the outside world 

someone must be there 

anyone? 

anyone? 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

I thought not 

this is hurting 

from the inside out 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

I feel like I’m going to be sick 

that bloody lady so cheery, so apologetic 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

what if it was her in my situation? 

what if it was her trying to get through to someone who she needed to 
talk to? 

would she be as apologetic to herself 

I think not 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

screw her 

yeah yeah I’m sorry to 

we're all sorry 

sorry for stuff we did 

but it’s in the past 

if only we could go back 

there would be so much I would change 

change for the better 

to warn myself 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

but that will never happen 

the past is written in stone 

un changeable 

not even by erosion 

not in a million years 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

in one million years will this even matter anymore? 

doesn't change anything 

it matters now, that’s all that matters 

all that matters now 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 

I still can't sleep 

and I’m still sad 

and I’m still lonely 

still sorry. 

"We advise that the mobile number you are trying to call is currently  
switched off or unavailable, please call again later" 
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 Addendum                                 Issue# 42  -  3rd May 2002 1:04am 
 (C) Steak May 2002 
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