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Addendum Issue 051
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Addendum
URL: http://www.adden.tr.cx/
Issue# 51 : Say no to Star Wars - Part 3: Top Ten Lists
18th May 2002
Author: Steak
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I have recently come across an Anti Star Trek site, proof again
that humans can be stupid,
But the main thing I found was a top ten list as to why he thinks that
star wars is better than star trek, so a final chapter to the say no to
star wars issues I will totally debunk everything he has said, after
which I will write my own top ten list.
Anything prefixed with a [S] is written by me.
10: Two words: John Williams.
[S] This is the only time I will let him get away with this, yes john
Williams is very talented, however this is less to do with star
wars but with the actual man, John Williams. So it really isn't a
applicable argument.
But saying that star trek have Jerry Goldsmith, who has worked on
such well known and entertaining films such as aliens, Hollow Man,
The Mummy and Air Force One
9: The guns used in Star Wars are real English Sterling machine guns and
German Mausers...not dust busters!
[S] I will have to watch star wars again, last time I checked the guns were
not actual real machine guns. They had plastic resin around them, and also
last time I checked star trek did not use dust busters as phasers, but
instead created whole new weapons, including ways to hold them. They used
original ideas, and didn't just copy present weapons.
8: Ten Forward doesn't have a cool Bith band! (Heck--they couldn't even
get Max Rebo to play there!)
[S] No they don't have a Bith band, they have huge windows looking out
into the great unknown ahead of the ships, out into the blackness of
space so you can watch the stars and the planets go by, a truly
breath taking site, also any astronomical phenomenon discovered can be
seen by the rest of the crew out these windows, I know which one I
would rather look at.
Also as a side line the enterprises computers can play you any music
you like at what ever volume you like, no band can do that.
7: Grand Admiral Thrawn could have defeated the Borg at Wolf 359!
[S] I tend to disagree, the Borg can scoop up entire colonies in one go
that is no match for any ship.
6: Star Trek's bald captain--covered in cybernetics--was only the
spokesmind for the Borg. Lando's bald right-hand man, with just a
cool walkman on his head, had the entirety of Cloud City at his
every command.
[S] If you watch the next generation you will see that captain Picard
saved the entire human race a number of times, something that nobody
else I know could do (even if they had a walkman)
5: "Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith" sounds cooler than "Captain
Jean-Luc Picard."
[S] I don't agree, "Dark Lord of the Sith" sounds very poxy
and tryhard-ish, if I walked into a post office and said wrote my
name as Picard and you wrote your name as 'Darth Vader Dark Lord of
the Sith' I know who would get the strange looks
4: Imperial and rebel uniforms actually have POCKETS!
[S] Watch enterprise, those uniforms have pockets, and by the 24th
century you don't need pockets, everything can be secured to your
uniform as if by magic (like com badges, phasers, tricorders etc)
3: The Federation has ships named Voyager, Reliant, and Enterprise...
the Empire has ships named Devastator, Avenger, and Executor!
[S] I'm sure Starfleet could name there ships the "USS big bloody white thing
thats going to kick your ass if you don't get out of the way of it" if they
wanted to but they are not as presumptuous as that
2: Star Trek robots can not use contractions and have trouble with
emotions. Star Wars robots can speak over 6 million forms of
communication fluently and whistle to themselves just because
they're in the mood too.
[S] Star Trek robots create many heart rendering stories about mans
inhumanity to machine, much the same as the book "I Robot" by
Isac Asimov. Having a machine that can do everything and cook
your toast to is just no fun, thats what a tricorder is for.
And it is only one robot that cannot use contractions, many that
have been shown can, and often will. As for whistling, well
I don't really need to say anything about that it should
be obvious
And the Number 1 Reason Why STAR WARS Is Better:
Captain Picard only cried like a baby in a vineyard after becoming
evil and then returning to the forces of Good. Anakin Skywalker
kicked the Supreme Ruler of the Galaxy's ass!
[S] You mean captain Picard had morals and cared for the fact that
he had gone against everything he had ever believed in, your dark lord
didn't give a shit, because he was always a barstard and didn't know any
better
----
So without further a do I present you with The top ten reasons why
star trek is better than star wars, and I will not let myself lap
into reasons like weapons, star ship names and pockets but actual
worth while reasons.
10. The Borg are a much greater and dramatic enemy than some guy in
a black head and mask, knowing that you will soon loose your
individuality and become nothing but cybernetic zombie in a hive
trying in vain to assimilate all your previous friends is a lot
scarier than becoming a bad boy.
9. There is so much star trek that you can never be without an
episode, there will always be more fun adventures you can take
and more discovering to do, you can know everything about star wars
in ten hours. That just seems a little boring to me.
8. Star Trek has amazing beautiful ships that inspire you to create more,
not just flat boring wedges or horse shoe shaped pieces of junk
7. Everything that is in star trek is at least plausible, star wars
go all out on fantasy with no baring in reality. They just create
stuff which looks good and don't even try to explain it.
6. Star wars is far to digital to the point where they actually have
digital actors, CGI looks so fake and cartoon-ish it is unfunny. And
I hate it when movies insist on using it, models look so much better
5. Gorge Lucus does not want to release the original trilogy on DVD
he does not like the format, and didn't even want to release episode
one on DVD but wanted to keep it on VHS. And when he did it was
released horribly, as one reviewer put it "this is an awful transfer
of the film that should never have seen the light of day, and makes a
blatant joke of the THX Certification"*
6. Gorge Lucus wants to make the episode 3 *totally* CGI
5. Patrick Stewart is a much better actor than any of the star wars
actors, he started out acting Shakespeare and is much more intelligent
individual than Mark Hamill, whos credits do not incidentally include
Shakespeare but notably Scooby Doo, batman and
Bruno the Kid: The Animated Movie
4. Star Wars is not Science fiction,
Science fiction is defined as "any fiction, often set in the future
that uses scientific facts or theories in an imaginative way" Star wars
does neither it just puts star ships in a dog fight reminiscent of WW2
dog fights, evidence again to lack of original ideas used throughout
this franchise.
3. Star wars is for kids, star trek is for adults. Apart from
the infinitely more complex ideas dealt with in star trek if you go
into any toy shop you will see oversized light sabers, action figures
and toy ships. Not a phaser or a tricorder in sight. Maybe a voyager
model kit in the young adult section but nothing more.
2. Star Trek is a blueprint for the future, how we can become a better
civilization and how we can set aside our petty differences, as a
result trekkers are a bunch peace loving, culture accepting
people. Star Wars fans are not
Finally the first reason why star trek kicks star wars ass:
Star Trek deals with complex issues that nobody else wants to deal
with, they touch sensitive cases and interesting plot lines, star
wars just flashes lights. And hence it takes a little bit more
intellect to deal with.
*Quote of review taken from Michael D's Region 4 DVD info page:
http://www.michaeldvd.com.au/
The actual article is here
http://www.michaeldvd.com.au/Articles/Articles.asp
under:
"Stars Wars: The Phantom Menace - Widescreen VHS Review"
---
Well that ends my "Say no to Star Wars" series, I hope you have
enjoyed it and you can now understand where I am coming from.
I could go on for another fifty issues outlining all my points but
to tell you the truth I am getting bored with the subject, and I
want to concentrating on writing about things that actually
deserve my attention.
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Addendum
(C) Steak May 2002
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