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Addendum Issue 092
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# 92 / Monday the 10th of June 2003 / http://addendumtextfiles.org
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Train, by Steak
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"The next train to depart from platform two will be the five fifty
nine, Belgrave, stopping all stations to Camberwell, then running
express from Camberwell to East Richmond, then stopping all stations
to Flinders Street." Said the voice, and not for the first time I
wondered who it was that was actually talking, I had heard the person
many a time, a middle aged man, Australian maybe British that was all
I could tell, but all the same I wondered what it was he actually
looked like.
The train rolled up to the platform and I borded as I usually do every
Friday evening after I finish work, it was dark outside and the
windows were blacked out because of it.
Once I got inside I looked around and found myself a double seat all
to myself and sat down. As per normal procedure we approached and
stopped at station after station after station after station.
In the end I lost count of how many stations we had passed, it seemed
far too many to be correct, Im sure we had passed my one already,
but I hadnt noticed, the train was going far to fast.
We rushed through anther station barely stopping, the train coming to
a standstill for only a literal second, the doors open and closed for
much less, before speeding off again. I tried to make out the name of
the station in some vague hope of understanding where it was I
happened to have found myself on the line but the signs seemed all
blurred and I couldnt quite make it out.
We passed by another station and the doors didnt even open, and at
the next we didnt even stop, just slowed. A few more stations up the
track and you couldnt make out the stations from the scenery going
by. Not that you could actually make out the scenery at all that was,
we were going much too fast for that.
I stared around and looked for someone to talk to, maybe someone else
thought that this was a little strange, the train going wrong like
this, going really fast and stuff. I tried to talk to the person in
row next to mine, but all he could do was look up from his newspaper
and answer a simple "I dont belong here" before disappearing.
I tired to talk to some other people but they all disappeared, and in
the end all I had to do was look at them or pass by them for them to
disappear. In about two minutes most of the train had disappeared. The
only person who was left was an old man at the back of the carriage
who was lying down on one of the seats.
I waited for a little while, eyeing the man suspiciously, expecting
him to disappear at any minute. But he didnt, which is what motivated
me to get up and go try and see if I could perhaps talk to him. I went
over to where he was lying on the seat and was appalled by the
condition he was in; he was weak and fragile, breathing raspy and his
heartbeat irregular. I lent down and gave him a pat on the shoulder.
"Excuse me?" I said
His old eyes looked over at me and connected with me in some way I
couldnt quite put my finger on, his face seemed strange, familiar
like, although there was no way I could have known him.
His beard and hair was long and he looked like he hadnt changed his
clothes in years, he smelt like shit and he really needed a bath. He
was probably some kind of homeless bum, but he was the only person
here that hadnt disappeared so maybe he had some kind of answer.
But I was ultimately disappointed when he used what looked like the
last of his breath to let out a few last words
"Bad luck kid" he said
And with that, he died, vanishing too as he did.
I stood up and looked around, the train was still plummeting forward
at an indescribable speed, I didnt even know if we were stopping at
stations any more or not, we could have been real fast, I couldnt
tell.
I tried all of the doors on the carriage including the ones at the end
that are supposed to let you walk between carriages; they were all
locked. When I tried to look through the windows on the door all I saw
was blackness.
I tried the emergency button intercom thing, all I got was static,
I tried waving at the camera, not a peep back. In the end I collapsed
on one of the seats, I lied there for days, maybe weeks, maybe months.
Strangely I had developed no need for food or water.
I think I went mad in that carriage, I would spend days running up and
down the place, screaming at the top of my lungs to nobody in
particular, I would sing songs at my reflection in the pitch black
windows. I would pull chairs from their fastenings, slamming them into
doors; windows and floors, only to have them bounce off without
causing the least bit of damage.
I would run full pelt into a wall just to have the feeling of pain for
the next few weeks, just to relieve the maddening boredom and
monotony. I guess there was also some help in thinking that if I could
perhaps run at the wall fast enough I might be able to shatter some
vital part in my face and then I could be granted the relief of death,
anything would be have been better than spending life trapped in that
carriage.
Unfortunately the best I could do was to knock myself out for a few
days, this was nice but I would eventually wake up and have to drip
all the blood that I had smacked out of myself all over the carriage
for the next couple of days. That was pretty shitty.
In the end I just lost the will to live, for the last twenty or so
years of my life I just lay there on one of the seats, staring at the
sealing, sleeping most of the time, not moving in the slightest.
I thought for years at a time, I dreamed for weeks, all I could do was
think. And do you know what conclusions I came to? None, there are no
conclusions; there are no answers in life. You can spend your entire
life thinking about these things, and believe me I have, and still not
be any closer to that personal fulfilment that we all ache and yearn
for.
I was getting quite old now; my beard was an insane length my hair was
as tangled as one of those b-movie monster puppets. I hadnt bothered
to get up for the last three years or so. I was so close to death now
as well; I could feel it creeping over my skin like an intruding
parasite. My body was shutting down and there was nothing I could do
to stop it, my life was slipping away and I had wasted most of it
living in this stupid train.
I had begun to see things recently, things that I werent sure if they
were real or not. Things that were there one moment and then gone the
next. Sometimes they were people in the carriage, other times I could
have swan the train had stopped, but upon looking out the windows all
I saw was blackness, the same blackness I had been staring at for the
last sixty years.
One day, when I was lying on a practically uncomfortable seat,
something unexpected happened. We stopped at a station.
I sat up, in couldnt believe it, people were actually getting on to
the train, as if it was a normal day and nothing had happened. The
windows were lit from an external source for the first time in as long
as I could remember, and the doors were opening.
The doors were opening! I jumped up quickly from my spot at the back
of the train and tried to make a run for the doors but as I did it
another unexpected thing happened, my heart gave in.
It happened like a bullet tearing through my chest, like a madman
stabbing a serrated blade straight into my heart. It hurt like no pain
I had ever felt before, more than any of the slams into the walls,
this was real pain.
As I lay back on my seat in agony I saw the train take off from the
station, slowly at first, then faster and faster missing station after
station after station until we were back at maximum speed again.
Then the people stared disappearing again, one by one by one they all
disappeared until only one young man was left at the other side of the
carriage.
Still completely paralysed it was as much as I could do to just keep
staring at him. All he did for a while was stare right back at me. He
had a piecing stare like he was completely out of his mind, a fish
dangerously out of water.
After a little while he gingerly got up and slowly made his way over
to where it was I was lying on my seat. He bent down and patted me on
the shoulder,
"Excuse me?" he said
He turned me over and with the last of my strength I let out the words
"Bad luck kid" and died.
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