Addendum Issue 086

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Addendum

 · 5 years ago

  

 
[NOTE (07/01/2003): Upon threat of legal action, references to a brand name have 
                    been removed from this file and replaced with COCKS.    
                    - Jason Scott, TEXTFILES.COM] 

 
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  ////        |||          Comprehension? Understanding? Bah!            |||    ||| 

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¯	http://members.optushome.com.au/steak/addendum/                             ¯ 
	Issue 86 - Finalized on Friday, 10 January 2002 at 12:10 AM 
	The title of this issue is: 'The beginning' 

	 Contents 
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	1. The End of an Era, by Steak 
        2. How to Have Fun and Break the Law at the Same Time (and not get caught) by 
        Some1 
_	3. Trouble in the Loop" Part 2, by cmountford                               _ 
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	 1. The End of an Era, by Steak 
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That’s it bro that’s the end. I’m not kidding, Addendum is ending. 

Now that the shock’s over you probably expect me to jump out and cry "Hahahah I was 
only kidding!" Well that’s not going to happen, it really is the end. 

[Insert U2’s ‘October’ here] 

Reasons? Do I need reasons? No I don’t, but I do have some. The pain of it all. Do 
you know how hard it is to run an e-zine? It’s very hard. Especially if you know 
practically no one that is willing to write for you. It’s a perfect battle almost 
every issue to get articles. I’m tired of posting in message boards looking for 
writers. I’m tried of trying to find new and unknown ways of subtlety hinting that 
people should write for me. I’m tried of it all. 

So I’m packing it in, I don’t want my own e-zine any longer. Please do not email me 
asking to take over the job as editor, Addendum is mine and will continue to be so. 
Further more I want the option to bring it back to life later if I deem it necessary. 
It probably won’t happen but you never know. 

For now at least I want to focus on being a freelance writer. I’m going to continue 
writing textfiles for the text scene, but instead of them all going into one failing 
zine I am going to be submitting them to many different good ones. I’m going it alone 
and I think that’s the best thing for me at the moment. 

You can get a list of the current e-zines available by pointing your web browser at 
http://www.textscene.com/ or http://scene.textfiles.com/ I will most likely be 
posting most of my stuff in angstmonster as I have a friend there, but I do intend to 
submit to a range of zines. 

If your interested, there should be a page up on my website soon detailing each and 
every edition of each zine I appear in so you can keep track of my textfile 
movements. 

This issue is basically a good-bye issue, a testament to all the work that a few 
people and I put into this zine over the last year. I also have included two articles 
that were written especially for me, I promised that I would include them in the next 
issue and I’m making good on that promise. 

Thanks to all the subscribers, thanks to all the submitters, thanks to all the 
readers, thanks to everyone who made addendum what it was, you all should be up for 
sainthood. This is the end of an era and the opening of a door in my life that will 
hopefully lead to better (and hopefully professional) things. 

So long, and thanks for all the fish 

 

         2. How to Have Fun and Break the Law at the Same Time (and not get caught) 
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	 by Some1 
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Disclaimer: 

The information provided here is for educational and entertainment purposes only.  I 
am not responsible if you get yourself killed, maimed, arrested, shot, raped, 
lacerated, or anything else as a result of the information in this file.  I may have 
provided the info, but the decisions regarding if and how to use it rest with you and 
you alone.  Bottom line:  I am not responsible for YOUR stupidity. 

Preface: 

Chances are, if you're reading this, then you are not the sort of person who 
considers a "good time" to be a night spent sitting with a bunch of people, wearing 
pajamas, and talking about celebrities and joking about the clothes that people on TV 
are wearing.  If you are, then first, fuck off, and second, stop reading now. I did 
not create this file to amuse teenyboppers.  This file exists to help give 
intelligent people some ideas on how they may entertain themselves (and a small 
group) while making a sociopolitical statement at the same time.  While I am aware 
that many documents of this nature already exist (commonly referred to as "anarchy 
philes"), many of them are of poor quality, and contain ideas that are the product of 
untested hypotheses, or are written by people who obviously haven't even hit puberty 
yet, and are generally of little practical value.  My intent is to try and help 
rectify this fact, and to create a document that is actually useable by the 
intelligent social malcontents.  Anyways, on to the good stuff: 

1.  Fun with explosives: 

Fireworks can be a godsend on those boring nights, and they have a myriad of 
potential uses.  If you're the timid type then just getting some friends together and 
going to some remote location in the middle of the night (cliffs work quite well, if 
you feel confident that you can climb them while hauling up bags of fireworks at the 
same time...it can be done, I've done it with friends several times, just make sure 
you scout the area out during the day time before you make any night time excursions) 
can be fun, and allows for some of the other fun things described below to be done 
afterwards (if you are sure that your fireworks didn't attract any unwanted 
attention).  Needless to say, it pays to have somebody on lookout, and to park your 
car (assuming you used one) some distance from where you will actually be shooting 
off the fireworks (where it is not easily visible from the road as well), and to also 
work out well in advance what you will do if the cops show up (surrender is a bad 
option, hiding is okay if they don't find your vehicle and if they're not sure where 
you are or if you're there at all, but slowly moving to a safe hiding spot, and then 
making your way back to your vehicle in a roundabout fashion is generally the best 
bet. If the location you've chosen doesn't allow for this sort of thing, then FIND A 
NEW ONE THAT DOES. There's no sense in getting in trouble due to lack of planning. 

But perhaps just shooting off some fireworks from the top of some cliffs seems a 
little cliche to you?  Well as I'm sure you're aware, fireworks are also great 
for political/petty vandalism as well as general instruments of urban terror.  A 
powerful enough M-80 can destroy a closed mailbox with ease (run like hell after 
you've put it in, and don't go back to check out your handiwork until 
morning...in fact, you'd be well advised to stay out of the general area for 
some time, as an exploding mailbox tends to attract a good deal of attention). 
Bottle rockets can be launched at the house of whomever you don't like, or 
thrown from a moving vehicle to create general chaos, or, if you've got a 
minivan and a friend with a LOT of balls, you can drive around with the sliding 
door open (it helps to have one of those sliding doors that can be "locked" in 
the open position, so you don't have to worry about it slamming shut and cutting 
off your friend's hands when you slow down or take a corner. Having a long, 
slender metal launching tube, sealed at one end also helps, as it will prevent 
sparks from setting the inside of the car on fire, and help to contain the 
inevitable smoke) and use it as a mobile launching platform. Assign points to 
various targets, and take turns driving and see who can "score" the highest. 
Needless to say, if you are going to be doing any variant of the "mobile launch 
platform" idea, you should find a back road that you KNOW is not patrolled by 
police, and you should conduct your business quickly and then go somewhere else 
(and do something else for at least a little while).  If the worse case scenario 
happens, and you get pulled over shortly after shooting off a rocket, and the 
cop asks "why are you driving around with the side door open and the car full of 
smoke," you can try saying "there's an exhaust leak, and I didn't want to die of 
CO poisoning," and hope that he buys it (he won't if he can smell the difference 
between burnt powder and car exhaust).  If you plan on chucking firework out on 
a road that has other cars on it, then take the time to construct a simple 
device to cover up your license plate number (and be sure to remove it as soon 
as you are done), and remember, ANY lamer that has a CB radio (or a cell 
phone...) could potentially report you to the cops, and even follow you and give 
them info on your position...so like I said, finding a back road in the middle 
of the night is your best bet, then you can just use houses as targets. 

But what if you live somewhere that fireworks can't be readily acquired, or have 
an irrational fear of fire?  Never fear, for all is not lost, you can simply 
make your very own, quite effective, non-pyrotechnic, chemical based "fireworks" 
out of stuff that can be found most anywhere.  The device of which I speak is 
the ubiquitous "COCKS bomb," a simple device that uses a chemical reaction to 
create air pressure, which ruptures a container, producing a VERY LOUD explosive 
"boom."  Just because these things use air-power rather than conventional 
explosives, do not underestimate them.  "COCKS bombs" pack QUITE a punch, they 
can destroy mailboxes (or even be used as propellant in potato guns), and a 2- 
liter bomb will produce a boom that will be audible across hundreds of yards, 
and it will most likely be interpreted as a "shotgun blast" by anyone within a 
150 foot radius...these are powerful toys, so treat them with respect.  The 
reason they are called "COCKS bombs" is that the active ingredient is a product 
called "COCKS," which can be picked up at your standard low- 
end department store (K-Mart, Walgreens, Wal-Mart).  If you can't find it then 
any product which contains hydrochloric acid (HCl, which is the active ingredient 
in the toilet cleaner) may be substituted...just check the labels and pick the 
one with the greatest concentration of HCl.  If you have access to the pure 
stuff (either stolen from a chem lab or purchased from a chemical supplier), 
that will work as well, but it MUST be HCl. Once you have a suitable source of 
HCl, all you need is some aluminum foil (available from any supermarket), and a 
bottle.  Plastic soda bottles work best, a bigger bottle make a bigger bang (and 
takes longer to go off). Glass bottles may also be used, and these will yield a 
higher pitched bang than the plastic bottles, and also create shards of glass 
shrapnel.  In case you haven't figured it out yet, to make a COCKS bomb, simply 
take about 6 to 8 strips of aluminum foil that are each about 5 inches wide by 
11 inches long (or whatever length your role came in, it doesn't make too much 
difference), and crumple into 6 to 8 eleven inch long rolls of foil (i.e. just 
roll them so that they will fit through the mouth of the bottle). Place these in 
the bottle, add a couple inches worth of acid, seal the top (if it's working you 
should see bubbles coming off the foil), and get to a safe distance (20 or 30 
feet is generally sufficient, if you don't need to make a fast getaway), and 
wait.  For the curious people out there, the HCl reacts with the aluminum to 
produce H2 (hydrogen gas) and AlCl (aluminum chloride, a solid mineral salt), 
the buildup of hydrogen increases the pressure inside the bottle, until 
eventually it ruptures, and that's the science behind the COCKS bomb.  The time 
it takes to go off depends on the size of the bottle used.  Small 1 liter 
bottles can go off in as little as 2 minutes, 2 liter bottles take about 5+ 
minutes, and 3 liter bottles can take up to 10 to 15 minutes to pop.  NEVER 
approach a bottle that fails to pop (shoot at it with a BB gun maybe, but NEVER 
go and pick it up).  Just because it didn't go off doesn't mean that the 
pressure inside isn't dangerously high, nor does it mean that the pressure has 
stopped building.  If an attempt fails, just leave it and try again with a fresh 
bottle, using more aluminum and acid than you did the previous time.  Finally, 
hydrogen gas is flammable, and though I've never tried it, if you were to place 
a COCKS bomb next to a source of reliable flame (one that won't get blown out 
when the bottle pops), you will ignite the hydrogen as it disperses, resulting 
in a fireball of appreciable magnitude...if you're going to try igniting the 
hydrogen, however, make sure that you do so in an area with plenty of space, and 
not many people. 

Now, on to what a COCKS bomb may be used for.  As I mentioned, these things pack 
enough punch to take out a mailbox when placed inside, but this is not their 
best use.  The fact that a COCKS bomb creates no shrapnel (when made with a 
plastic bottle), and no fireball on detonation makes it the ideal tool for 
creating urban chaos.  The only sign that a COCKS bomb has gone off (aside from 
the sound, obviously) is a small cloud of white "smoke" which is harmless and 
rapidly dissipates, meaning that these "bombs" can quite easily be used to sow 
confusion in a public place without having to worry about inadvertently causing 
injury to any of the innocent bystanders (scaring them may be fun, but hurting 
them is un cool), and this also makes the source of all the thunderous explosions 
difficult for people to pinpoint.  A great "theater of war" for the COCKS bomb 
is a mall parking lot.  Simply park somewhere out of the way, have a friend 
quickly conceal a bomb under a nearby car, and drive off to a different spot and 
wait for the ensuing chaos (or place a second bomb, and then drive to a new 
spot, and so on), and get out of there before the cops arrive (or stay and watch 
as they confusedly search for the source of the explosion(s) if you are 
ABSOLUTELY sure that NOBODY observed you placing the bombs).  In most places, 
these things are legally considered to be bombs (despite the fact that they 
produce no shrapnel or harmful incendiary blast wave), and the penalty can be 
severe if you are tied to the use of them, so BE CAREFUL about where you choose 
to use them, and try to make sure that there are no cameras or other evil 
devices which might record your activity for later review by pissed off law 
enforcement people.  If you do happen to get caught, try the "I/we am/are a 
group of students when went to chemistry class together, and we were re-enacting 
an experiment to collect hydrogen gas, but we got the molar quantities wrong, 
and things sort of got out of control" excuse.  It sounds lame, but it worked 
for me in the past when somebody did the MASSIVELY stupid thing of setting one 
of these things off in my front yard, in the middle of the day.  The idea is to 
simply create "reasonable excuse," and the above story qualifies, assuming you 
are young enough to pass as either a HS or college student. 

2.  Trespassing: 

So maybe explosives aren't your cup of tea, and I certainly can't hold that 
against you.  Explosives are extremely illegal, dangerous, and the idea of 
terrorizing random people just for the hell of it isn't something that's going 
to appeal to everyone.  Trespassing is a viable (and relatively safe) 
alternative, and while it may seem lame on its face, it actually has a lot of 
potential. One of the funnest places to go is the roof of the local High School 
(or any school really, provided that it is not actively patrolled by the 
police).  Although it may be possible to access the roof of the school by 
breaking into the building and finding the appropriate set of stairs, this is 
EXTREMELY stupid as most schools have security systems installed, and the last 
thing you want is to end up cornered inside a dark building by the police.  A 
better way to reach the roof is to look for a scalable section of the building. 
This is not far-fetched as it may sound.  Many buildings have portions that are 
aesthetically "textured" in such a way as to provide sufficient hand and foot 
holds for anyone brave enough to attempt to scale the wall.  Flagpoles 
positioned near the wall of the building (which are virtually certain to be 
present at any halfway decent school) also provide a possible point of access, 
and most schools have benches and even dumpsters which can be positioned and 
stacked into a makeshift ladder in a pinch.  "Roofwallking" is more fun if you 
bring a few people along, and once on the roof there are lots of things you can 
do...use you imagination, and if the school happens to have a little open-air 
"atrium" that students pass through on the way to classes which allows them an 
unrestricted view of the sky, pretend that this atrium is a giant toilet, and 
repay the government for the sub-standard education that it stuck you with. 
Just remember, your voices will carry quite a distance from up on the roof, so 
if there are houses nearby, you'll want to keep it down. 

Abandoned /condemned buildings also make for good trespassing fun, just make 
sure you bring along something for any prying /smashing that may happen to be 
necessary, as well as a flashlight so that you can see on the inside.  It's 
surprising what you'll find in an abandoned place, especially if it was a 
commercial or industrial complex before it was abandoned.  You can find tools, 
chemicals, documents, ancient electronics, and all sorts of cool old shit. 
Bringing a loot bag along is also a good idea if you suspect that the building 
you will be entering saw "interesting" uses before it was condemned.  Be wary, 
however, of shoddily built or decaying sections of construction, and of animals 
and their fecal matter.  Just because a place has been abandoned doesn't mean 
that there's nothing alive inside of it (and living things certainly add to the 
creep-out factor, which is half the fun).  As with most things, the golden rule 
of "if you are doing something illegal, park your car far away from where you'll 
be, and make sure that it won't be noticed from the road by a casual observer" 
applies, so make sure you follow it, and work out what to do if the cops show up 
in the building (they'll probably be more nervous than you, giving you a 
distinct advantage...use the time they devote to caution to quickly find the 
back door and exit the building and discreetly get to your vehicle and drive 
away. 

3.  Roof Riding: 

I don't think I need to write too much about this topic...most of it is self- 
explanatory.  Get a friend, and a car, and have the friend drive (it helps to 
pick a friend that you trust) while you climb out on the roof.  If you are 
particularly bold, stand upright and wave (or do other things) at other cars as 
they pass (and hope that none of the other cars is a police car).  Having a 
vehicle with a large roof helps, as does having a friend who can drive good AND 
fast at the same time.  Nothing is lamer than roof-riding at 5 mph, and nothing 
is worse than being thrown off the roof of a car going 60 mph.  The fastest I've 
personally gone on the roof of any car was about 70 mph down a back road on the 
roof of a friend's sports car, and the fastest I've gone standing fully upright 
is about 35 mph on the roof of a suburban (BIG assed vehicle)...have fun trying 
to break my records, and if you don't want tickets for reckless endangerment and 
all sorts of other things, restrict your roof riding to back roads late at 
night. 

Afterword: 

That's all I feel like writing, the following topics (among others) are possible 
in a future file, if this one is well received and if I feel like making it: 

4.  Fun with videotape 
5.  Signs 

 

	 3.Trouble in the Loop" Part 2, by cmountford 
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Last issue, a sinister man walks up to Chris and tells him that he has a job for him. 

A man dressed in an all-black suit gets out of a black car with tinted windows.  The 
sinister figure carefully looks around before walking toward Chris.  The man’s face 
is hidden in shadow.  In spite of the sweltering weather and sun beating down on 
them, something about the man sends chills running up and down the boy’s spine. 
Satisfied that nobody is watching, the man proceeds walking toward Chris. 

"Hello?  Who are you?" Chris asks.  The man takes one more glance over his shoulder, 
and then coughs.  But it wasn’t the sort of cough from a person who’s sick.  Instead, 
it was the sort of cough that people make voluntarily to express something. 
The man asks, "Is your name Chris ___________?"  The man asked in an oddly deep, 
scratchy voice. 

Chris glances around, and then pauses while wondering if he should tell the man who 
he is.  He decides not to, and that it would be better to make the man guess.  "I 
don’t know.  Why?  Who do you think I am?" Chris asks casually. 
The man’s face remains hidden, but Chris notices an odd pause before the man 
responds.  "I’ve been told that your name is Chris Edwards. Before asking any 
questions about me, let me do the talking." Chris wonders how the man knew who he 
was.  The man comments, "It’s not safe here. Follow me into the car."  Chris wonders 
if he’s making a mistake by getting into a stranger’s car, but he’s glad that he just 
charged his cell phone. Chris decides to follow the man into the car.  Somehow, the 
man faintly reminds Chris of someone, but he can’t remember who. 

"Shut the door behind you," the man commands Chris.  And if you have a cell phone, 
turn it off."  Chris shuts the door, and reluctantly turns his phone off.  "Now we 
can talk safely without being monitored." the man states. 

"Now if you wouldn’t mind, could you please tell me what is the meaning of this?" 
Chris demands. 

The man replies, "I’m getting there.  First, I need to make sure you’re really Chris 
Edwards.  Tell me what you know about your father." 

Chris says, "Well, my father has a job in a financial institution that helps other 
people manage their money, and he’s had it as long as I can remember." 

The mysterious man in black states with an icy voice, "Public records could tell me 
that much.  Where did your father say he was going for the business trip he recently 
left for, and when did he leave?"  The man’s curiosity and knowledge of his father’s 
doings sent an icy series of chills down Chris’ back. 

Chris eyes the man suspiciously, and then replies, "Well, before I came out here, my 
dad said he planned to leave on a trip four days ago.  He said he had to go to some 
meeting to be held in England."  The man’s face shows nothing.  Chris asks, "What 
exactly is all this about?  If you don’t tell me soon, I’m leaving." 

The man suddenly reaches down to his waist, and Chris’ heart begins pounding.  Chris 
wishes he hadn’t said that!  "Please don’t shoot me!"  Chris begs.  The man laughs a 
menacing, deep laugh.  Chris’ mind begins racing, but he stalls for time by blurting 
out, "What’s so funny?  You enjoy shooting people!?!"  Chris wonders if the man is 
going insane, because he starts laughing even harder, but the laugh sounds strangely 
evil yet very faintly reminds him of something.  He tries to remember what, but his 
fear of being shot make thinking about such matters impossible. 

The man fiddles with a concealed object inside his suit.  The man suddenly stops, 
pulls something out of his mouth, and says, "I’m sorry for the deception, but it was 
necessary.  How’s it going?"  Chris’ mouth drops open, but can’t think of anything to 
say.  The man’s voice sound suddenly less sinister, and even had a slightly amused 
tone to it. 
Chris knows the voice sounds familiar, but he still struggles to figure out who is 
speaking.  The man makes a sudden movement and Chris’ eyes briefly catches a shimmer 
of light.  The boy’s mind races as Chris watches in slow motion, terrified.  Chris’ 
mind races and he realizes the one object the man could be pulling out of his coat. 
A split second later, the shiny object is fully visible, sharp and threatening.  The 
man makes a sudden move with the knife.  Chris hears a shrill noise, and notices he’s 
screaming. 

To be continued.. 

 

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¯ You are authorized to pass copies of this text file around to friends, family and ¯ 
    associates. But you do not have permission to mutate any part of the content 
  thereof. If you do, we will find out where you live, burn your house down and kill 
    your dog. You wouldn't want us to hurt fluffy now would you? Thankyou for your 
_                              continued cooperation.                               _ 
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