Addendum Issue 018

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Addendum

 · 5 years ago

  

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 Addendum                                     Issue# 18  -  28th March 2002 
 URL: http://www.adden.tr.cx/ 
 Author : Steak, now I'm talking to myself 
========================= Simple Sentient Steak ============================ 

Recently my esteemed college, Phoenix wrote an issue dealing with why 
he called himself phoenix, explaining himself and how he lived, in 
a sentence: telling the world about himself before he started writing 
for real. Unfortunately I have been writing for a number of issues already  
and hence do not really have the advantage of introducing myself as 
I feel that if you have taken the time to read all that I have written 
then you all ready know me very well, however his file has inspired me to  
write my own version only this time dealing with me. So without trying 
to blow my own trumpet too much (I hope) I present an addendum all 
about me. 

My name is James Keen, a few of my regular readers will already 
be aware of that. I am also steak the woeful publisher/editor/writer 
of this e-zine. 

At this present time I am enjoying my life, I am enjoying it because 
I feel content with my life, I have no need for change and I like it 
that way. Some people feel the need to be more ruthless, less boring,  
to cheat death, to live on the edge, to do outrageous things. Forgive  
me but I find that all a little unnecessary. 

I have a routine, the routine is flexible but all in all its a pretty 
solid routine. This file contains a transcript of that routine for 
your reading pleasure, the routine is a hypothetical day where I do not 
interact with anybody, most days I interact with people, teachers,  
friends, girlfriend, siblings etc. But if I start writing all those 
people in then this file would be way too long, that is why there will 
be no other mention of people in my writings. This is meant to cause no 
offence to other people reading this file. I do have a life, honest =] 

I do different things on different days and I try to make the best of it 
that I can. I try to enjoy my routine as much as I can and I try to also 
enjoy the day’s proceedings. 

I feel that if I die soon I will have no regrets as to how I have lived  
my life. I wish from now until I die to complete my life doing things  
that make me feel good, being reckless and doing stupid things do not  
make me feel good. In fact they make me feel quite bad so I have decided  
not to do them. I really do not think that there is anything wrong with  
this logic and it seems to make a lot of since for me, I do what makes 
me feel good and try not to do things that make me feel bad. 

On weekdays I have to go to school, I wake up at eight o’clock every 
morning and proceed to get out of bed, I may take a shower or I may not 
depending on how I feel. If I take a shower I will try to clean myself 
as best I can because I believe in keeping myself clean, this may come 
as a surprise to some people but I am quite hygienic, not to the point 
of insanity but definitely to the point of not being overlay dirty. 

After my shower I will walk to the kitchen where I will make myself a cup 
of coffee to wake me up and walk back to my room, I will proceed to get my 
email down while a I wait for the coffee to cool down, I will in fact 
normally place the coffee near my computer fan to cool it down quicker as 
I usually only have forty five minutes before I have to go off to school. 

I am toying with the idea of making a contraption out of an old computer 
power supply and fan just for the task of cooling down my coffee, I have 
been planning it for quite a while and I indeed already have a fan. 

I will then fire up Eudora and get my email down, if I have new mail I will 
read it but at that moment it will not make much since as I am still groggy 
from the nights sleep. I will then put my cloths on, affix my army utility 
belt complete with holders for my wallet and a walkman. I will then look at 
my time table to find out what it is that I have and fill my bag up with the 
day’s books. 

I will then drink my coffee, brush my teeth put my keys in my pocket, lock the 
door and set off for school. If I am walking I will try to soak up as much 
sunshine as possible and try and enjoy the view to school as best I can. I am 
a firm believer that the sun can give me power and energy for the days 
proceedings and I try to soak up as much as I can. I will also try and relax 
with the view that is presented to me which will make the day easier to cope 
with. 

If it is raining then I will not cover my head and be scared of the rain 
after all it is just water, and I do come from the land of rain. I will 
try to retain my dignity and walk and just get wet. I am going to get 
wet anyway so I would rather be wet with dignity than just wet. 

An interesting, but off topic thing to note at this point is that I 
do not believe that the glass is half empty or half full, but rather 
a meaningless trick with no proper answer used by people to feel they 
can define themselves, to read more about defining yourself read the 
addendum entitled "Women, Men and Consumables", it may even be published  
already, if not it will be out soon. 

Back on topic 

Once I am at school I feel I need a sense of purpose, I do not like just 
hanging around on my own unless I have to think about something, usually that 
early in the morning I don't have anything to think about so I set myself 
some goals. I first put my bag in my locker and get out my books. I then go 
to the window where I find out if any teachers are away and therefore if I get 
any more free periods, which will give me time to do work, write, read, or 
think. 

Once the lessons commence I am actually quite happy. I believe that the thirst 
for knowledge burns inside me rather a lot and I always try to achieve 
knowledge to the best of my abilities. 

After school is finished then I will usually go home where I will do a number 
of things, I will study or write, watch a movie or play a game, read a book or  
work. I will spend most of the night doing these things until the hyposomnia  
gets too unbearable and I will then retreat to my bed and sleep. Unless I have 
a bout of insomnia. 

I am not one to downgrade school as a place I am forced to go, even if school 
was not mandatory I would go. It is a place to learn and if there is one thing 
that I enjoy the most it is learning. There is one thing I do not like about 
school however and that is the fact that I have to learn according to somebody 
else’s ideas and how fast they think I should learn. 

If I could I would much rather teach myself, through books. A perfect education 
system for me would be one where I read text books at my own pace, it may take a 
little longer but the whole experience would be so much more enjoyable to me. 

However nothing like this will ever happen simply because most people do not 
have the maturity to teach themselves and would much rather spend there time 
in groups of there friends, raping, taking drugs and feeling all macho. This 
is what is stopping everyone teaching themselves, like normal it is the 
majority of idiots who spoil it for the rest of us. However I will not dwell 
on it and try to teach myself more by my own ways in my own free time. 

Another interesting thing to not, and more on topic than last time is that I  
do not like teachers calling time that I am away from school, breaks or 
recesses "my free time" It is all my time. I choose to go to school and 
I choose to go to lessons because I want to; my time is no one's but my own. 

I also love animals, I have a cat called coco that is a very friendly cat. 
She likes rubbing herself up against things, sleeping, eating, exploring and 
hunting.  

I think she likes us, only today we opened the door to find her sitting 
on the mat proudly looking over the dead body of a small mouse that she 
had caught and killed. The beautiful thing is she had decided to give to us.  
I mean this is the very first mouse that she has ever caught and she decides  
that we are worthy of having it, she could very well eat it and have a good  
dinner, but she decided that we deserved it more than she did. 

She is a very inquisitive cat and a pleasure to be around, she likes  
being hugged and cradled and adores attention, if we had an open fire place 
she would more than likely on occasion curl her self up next to it where 
it was nice and warm on cold winter days.  

Oh what an easy life she has. Oh to be a cat. 

Ode to coco the cat 
By steak 

It must be hard on you, 
my dear sweet co-co, 
doing nothing all day, 
your such a beat do-do. 

eating, sleeping, 
walking, exploring, 
purring and squealing, 
doing nothing that’s boring. 

You find a nice spot, 
all hot in the sun, 
and just sit there all day, 
soaking up the fun. 

You do what you feel like, 
pure-ly for the heed, 
your such a little tyke, 
that is the life I need. 

At night you hunt, 
and torment your pray, 
and run and jump and hop, 
and play. 

You can see all the things, 
moving on the floor, 
they cannot escape, 
your ultra-fast paw. 

to be a cat. 
to be a cat. 

must be hard. 

 

 
Ok I’m going to stop with my armature poetry and try to write properly now 

I am, if you have not guest a great lover of nature. nature is so complex so  
interesting there is thousands of things that we can see and hear and many  
that we cannot it is hard to even express the utter brilliance of nature and  
the world around us and yet we take it all for granted all creatures great  
and small are a wonder to me and my each and every one is my personal friend, 
I adore every one of them. 

Except mosquitos. I cannot stand mosquitos. I wish they would all die and 
go to hell and never come back, if I see one I want to tare it up into little  
bits and jump on the bits and jump on them until I’ve had enough, then rip them  
into even tinier little bits and post the little bits off to Afghanistan 

Ironically the envelope would cost more in postage than the mosquito but that 
really doesn't matter...let me get on with it... 

There is a short story by Roald Dahl named "The Sound Machine" where a man 
invents a sound machine that lets him hear sound ranges that we cannot hear 
and he hears the dieing scream that roses make when they are being cut, he 
can also hear the soft moan of pain a tree makes when an axe smacks into the 
wood of the tree and lodges itself there. This sort of thing haunts me, 
what if plants do feel a kind of pain, I know they don't have a nervous  
system but who's to say that they feel the same kind of pain as we do, 
they may experience something different maybe just as horrendous, or worse. 

I will not even hurt plants anymore as best I can. 

On a lighter note though I really have to say that I love birds, birds are  
very intricate and fascinating they are a wonder and they are all around us  
they are the creature that has been most taken for granted however, even  
something as plain as a pigeon is interesting, have you watched one walk,  
the way it bobs its head and eats it's prey 

I do not believe we really know how interesting birds are. The way they 
they are free in every sense of the word, they are not captive and 
are oblivious to the ways of the world, they can go where ever they want 
and they can do one amazing thing (well most of them can any way) they can fly 

I would love to be able to fly, to be able to see every thing with such an 
uncluttered view, it would be a lovely experience to be able to just one day 
fly away, to just sprout wings an flap up into the stratosphere would 
be bliss. I would love to. I never dream about this kind of thing, many 
people say that everyone has experienced this type of dream, as of yet 
I have not. 

I really can't find a way to change from the previous topic of nature, birds 
and cats etc to the next one about a book, so I will just warn you of a total  
change of topic about to commence right.......now. 

Where ever I go I have the feeling that I wish to be the main star of a book, 
that my life could be written down as a book and all my thoughts and feelings 
could all be written down as I am feeling them, in fact many a time I walk 
around experiencing things and saying them over to myself inside my head 
as if they were being written down. 

I have however tried to complete something like this many a time and have  
failed miserably, you see my life can sometimes be interesting and enjoyful  
but  unfortunately it doesn’t make a very good story as nothing really amazingly  
exciting happens to me. There is no big dramatic twist of the plot, it doesn't 
even have a middle and an end. In short if my life was in some way a movie, 
you would ask for your money back. 

I really can't think of that more to say, I've tried to keep off the topic of 
people throughout this because there will always be somebody who will be missed 
out and I don't want anybody thinking that they are in-superior in my view to  
anyone else, let it just be known that there are quite a few people who 
are indispensable in my life and I enjoy spending time with all 
of them, you know who you are and if you are reading this I thank you from  
the bottom of my heart. 

Well I really hope that you have enjoyed this little piece that I have  
written I know its not the longest thing I have ever written but not even  
a twelve page addendum could convey all that has happened to me and my  
experiences, after all a person is only the sum of there experiences.  
I feel that if whoever reads this understand me just a little better  
then this piece will be worth it. 

Until next time our paths meet and you point your browser to  
http://www.adden.tr.cx to find I have updated, or you download your mail 
to find the next issue sitting in your mailbox,  

I bid you farewell. 

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 Addendum                                     Issue# 18  -  28th March 2002 
 (C) Steak March 2002 
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