Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
Addendum Issue 026
============================================================================
Addendum Issue# 26 - 9th April 2002
URL: http://www.adden.tr.cx/
Author : Steak,
========================= The Food of Gods =================================
The night before Last I encountered a beautiful thing, an amazing thing. It
was a food but not just any food, it was the most splendid cuisine I have
ever tasted placing the fork fulls of this food was like tasting heaven
itself, so much so that my mouth waters just thinking about it.
I used to eat it almost every day, I have however unfortunately been
forced to part company with this edible master piece for a few years now
why?
well I will tell you. The food is an English dish, and since I have been
living in Australia I have not been able to find it anywhere. There have
been millions of cheap imitations, there are some that are close and
one that is very close, but nothing compares to the original.
The dish I am talking about is Heinz Spaghetti with Sausages in tomato
sauce.
Yes Heinz do work in Australia, and yes they do make a Spaghetti with
Sausages in tomato sauce here as well but the version that is available
here has one thing on it that the English version does not.
One demon of a substance, one disgusting piece of filth, one horrible
ingredient that ruins an amazing and delightful dish, if only I could
eradicate it I would.
What is this ingredient? is it cyanide? is it asbestos? no it is not,
the ingredient in question is none other than cheese.
They insist on putting cheese on it. Why they do this I don't know,
when I first got here and I didnt know that they put cheese on this
version I described my favorite dish as "not the same, something different
with a distinct after taste of dishwasher liquid"
And that if you ask me ruins the most beautiful food man has ever created.
As I have said before I have been without this for many years, but now
after all this time my farther has returned from England with one tin.
Just one.
Last night I had the pleasure of eating it.
I cooked it exactly right, for one and a half minuets, then stirred, then
another one and a half minuets. A glass of milk, spoon, fork, and knife and
I was ready.
I pushed my fork in and pulled out a clump of the beautiful substance.
I watched it for a second, savoring the moment, knowing that soon I would
have the pleasure of eating it one more time.
I placed the fork in my mouth and blessedness spread to me. oh heaven, oh
bliss. How I felt then will forever be etched in my memory, the hot sauce
was burning my tongue but I did not mind, because the taste was exquisite,
for ten minuets, I was back in England.
I was back there on a cold winters Wednesday, I had just come back from
school and I was cold and wet but glad to be inside, watching the water
pour down the window, and waiting for my dish to cook, after which
I would retire to my bedroom and watch this weeks episode of star trek
the next generation, uninterrupted by adverts. Happy times.
But all too soon the dish was finished, the spaghetti slurped the sausages
swallowed the empty can which once held the food of god, now nothing more
than a pencil holder.
But an elegant pencil holder at that,
It has a small label at the bottom of the can saying "one day,
============================================================================
Addendum Issue# 26 - 9th April 2002
(C) Steak April 2002
============================================================================
