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Anarchist Tendencies Issue 05
***************************************************************************
* *
* Evil Angels Presents... / *
* / *
* Anarchistic Tendencies... Part V / *
* / *
* VAGABORING! (YAWN) /_____ *
* / *
* Released 16 October 1988 / *
* / *
* By: Lightening Bolt and the Evil Angels. / *
* *
* *
***************************************************************************
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Ring these Boards! |
| |
| -> Pacific Island. 8902174. 300/300 ONLY. 24 hours a day! |
| |
| -> The Twilite Zone. 5620686. 300/300 1200/1200. 24 hours a day! |
| |
| -> Zen BBS 8996180 Rotary Running TBBS |
| |
| -> Doodz Domain 6465861 All Speeds 23 hours a day! |
| |
| -> Electric Dreams 8131663 300/300 1200/1200 23 hours a day! |
| |
| -> Crystal Palace 7251923 All Speeds 23 hours a day! |
| |
| -> The Crossover 3675816 All Speeds 23 hours a day! |
| |
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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WARNING!
You may find the following document boring, for this we (the
authors) do apologise, but feel that the facts must be made
public to protect the innocent, and expose the guilty.
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Name: Vagabond. (Boringus Maximus)
Born: (We suspect not.) August 1969.
Description: A reasonably tall dark haired creature.
Has many distinguishing features, such as his
square eyeballs to make viewing a monitor easier,
and his well developed fingers that make a 50%
speed increase in typing.
Habitat: The Vagabond can usually be found (with one exception)
in front of a computer. During the day you will find the
Vagabond "working" in front of a computer, during the
evenings you will most commonly find it at home in front
of a computer. The one exception is Friday evenings.
This is the time of week that a metamorphosis occurs, and
it throws off it's boring casing and leaves the protection
of it's elders, and goes to watch a movie (the same each week).
Eating Habits: The Vagabond is a scavenger most of the time.
It feeds mostly on chips that is steals off work mates.
Before it attacks, it can be detected by the characteristic
"Chippie Chippie Chippie!" sounds. Also feeds on Mars Bars,
and whatever the mother will make him eat.
Reproduction: Frequent encounters with Mrs Palmer and her 5 daughters.
As yet there has been no other documented activity, with
one exception to this. The mating ritual of the Vagabond begins
with spending several hours talking in his car, if the subject
falls asleep, things progress. However, it has been known to fail.
(On the one and only occasion!)
Movement: Without a vehicle to move, the Vagabond tends to be
clumsy. It has been described by a famous biologist as:
"If he was walking through the MCG, and there was a packet of
matches in the middle of the oval, he'd trip over the matches."
With the aid of a vehicle, the Vagabond is BORING. He
travels extensively in a Datsun Stanza. Now, if that isn't
boring enough, (the car CAN'T go faster than 120 KM/H)
he adheres strictly to the speed limits, with statements
about how he can accelerate and remain at a constant speed
(providing quadronomial vector equations to prove his point)
and turns a corner at 5 KM/H to demonstrate.
Fantasies: It is amazing, but the Vagabond does have fantasies.
A well known one is that he is locked in a computer shop
over night. Others such as having people laugh at one of his
jokes may never be realised, but he is trying...
Phobias: The Vagabond is well known for it's fear of excitement. It has
been traced back to his early childhood, where exciting events
occurred, and his subconscious has never come to terms with
those events. Thus, a good time to the Vagabond consists of
watching test patterns on channel 2, reading a movie on SBS,
or even better checking that his 101 key keyboard still has
it's 101 keys!
Dress: The Vagabond is renowned for his poor taste in clothes. His
selections (from the Brotherhood bins) is always at least
one size too large, and his shirts are always untucked.
Achievements: The Vagabond has achieved a new dimension in boringness.
He has made a brick wall commit suicide when he tried to
convince it to vote Liberal in the last elections. (The wall
was a Liberal supporter anyway, until Vagabond talked to it.)
His proudest achievement is counting 93,000 sheep one
night, until sheep fell asleep. Ge then wrote a long boring
story about it.
History: The Vagabond became known in late 1986. With his VIC-20
and 300 baud modem he managed to bore a lot of people without
actually being there to bore them.
With his new computer, the IBM compatible, new 1200 baud
modem, and own phone line, he has been able to bore a lot
more people quicker.
It wasn't until 1988 that he got a job and started working
in the ideal environment; the PC division of a large national
company. He can now bore an enormous amount of people, quickly
and efficiently and gets paid for it!
Closing Comments: If you are someone who showers more than once per
week, goes out at least as often as you shower, and don't
get past counting 10 sheep before you go to bed at night, or
get pubic hair (not your own) caught between your teeth every
now and then, then this is one person you should avoid.
You'll find him boring!
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This Edition's Awards
---------------------
Bastard of the month........................ The Masked Avenger
(AGAIN!)
Boring person of the month.................. Vagabond
(AGAIN!)
Drunken slob of the month................... Fearless Fred
(AGAIN!)
Driver of the month......................... Raster Blaster
(Oh that poor Sillycar!)
Romeo of the month.......................... Disk Destroyer
Cute ass of the month (possibly all time)... SYN ...
Who can put who's tongue in someone ........ Thelonius Monk
else's month for the longest time .......... ECH!?
(Combined Award!)
Baby Sitter of the month award.............. Ivan Trotsky
(Skullfucker)
Sysop of the month.......................... Craig Bowen
(AND NEXT MONTH...)
Tree-stump rapist of the month.............. Royna
Bullshit award.............................. The Mentat
("I don't bullshit")
Circumcised head award...................... Brett McMillian
Have Tweezers, will wank award.............. Taxi Cab
Topex award................................. Cadet Ace
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Quotes for this month.
----------------------
The Mentat: "Everybody goes through my bag for NUI's."
SYN ...: "I'm Easy!"
"I can't seem to get mine to warble."
The Masked Avenger: "Oh no, I've got brain damage, but
what a relief, I've got a brain!"
Masky: "I'm too gullible"
Fred: "You can't be. The word 'gullible' has
been removed from the English dictionary."
Masky: "Has is?"
Disk Destroyer: (About Fire Fox) "You can have her nasal
hairs, but I'll have the rest of her anyday."
Fire Fox: (About Disk Destroyer) "Errrrr! YUCH!"
Mandi: (About Disk Destroyer) "Errrrrrrr! YUCH!"
Royna: (About Disk Destroyer) "Does he have a dick?"
Raster Blaster: "Go away, I'm having a good time!"
"I haven't slept for 5 days."
Fearless Fred: "It was a two dollar note!"
(The morning after drinking 3/4 of a bottle
of Bundaberg Rum)
"Urgg. I don't feel too good!"
Anon: "Can I watch you go to the toilet?"
Taxi Cab: "I'm going to send my sicopath frend onto U!"
(Spelling has not been altered)
"If you come around here, I'll blow your heads off."
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----------------------
E V I L A N G E L S
----------------------
You too can help rid the world of nerds. By purchasing any of
the following quality official Evil Angels Products.
"I hate the Masked Avenger" Badges $ 2-50
"I hate Taxi Cab" Badges (In high demand) $ 3.00
Evil Angels Windcheaters... $25-00
All sizes, all colours, design is Front: "I hate the Masked Avenger"
"Evil Angels: Ridding the
world of nerds!"
Back: "I hate Taxi Cab!"
Printed versions of Anarchistic Tendencies Part 1 - 5 $10-00
Remember... donations to Evil Angels are NOT tax deductible,
but will help rid the world of nerds!
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This months' competition:
Can you guess who this is?
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This phallic-shaped trophy (engraved "Gawden's One Inch") is
the Noballs Prize, and will be awarded each issue by a count
of votes. See below for details.
___________
| _/ . \_
| / . \_
| /. . \
| / . . \
___ | ###| #### . \
/ | \ | # #| # ## ____ |
/ \ | # ##### ## / \ |
|=.-'=| /___| # / # #######| | |
|=.=-.| \ #_/ # # / __, | |
| | / ### # | | | |
XXXXXXXXX / ##### / | |
XXXXXXXXXXX | \ _/ | |
########### \_____/\ | / |
--------------------------------- \ | | /
| _____________________________ | __| \ | |
| | | __/ |__/ |
| | _/ __ |
| | __/ ____/ | /
| | What kinda computa |_______/| | | | |
| | u got man? Got any | || || | |_| | |
| | calling cards, nuis, |_|| ||_| _/ |
| | or other phreaky things? | | / /
| | | | ___/ |
| | | | | /
| | | | | /
| | | | \ /
| | | | \__ _-----|
| | | | \ / ( ) \
| | | | /----/ ( O ) \
| | | | / (_) |
| | | | | _______ |
| | | | | / \_ |
| | | | / / _ | |
| |___________________________| | | / ( ) | |
\ AMIGA 1000 / |_/ ( O ) | \
\_____________________________/| _/( ) (_) / |
| _____ _____/ ( O ) _/ |
+---------------++-(____ \__/ _ (_) _/ _ |
| +---+ ||(_____ | ( ) _/ ( ) |
| ====| _ |==== |(_____ |( O ) / ( O ) |
| o +---+ || (____ | (_) _____/ (_) |
+---------------++---(____/|_______/| FP'88|
We would like to hear your opinions on who would be
the most deserving nerd on the boards. Please register
your vote, and next issue we'll award Gawden's One Inch to
the person with the most votes. One vote per person please.
Second, Who do you think the above picture is of?
Send your vote and guess at the nerd's identity to:
Evil Angels,
C/o The Twilite Zone,
562-0686.
Winners will be notified by E-Mail, and will be
posted in the next issue.
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Anarchistic Tendencies V
(C) October 1988
YOU HAVE NO GODDAMNMUTHAFUKING RIGHTS!
**************************************
* NO PART OF THIS FILE MAY BE *
* PUBLISHED IN MASS MEDIA WITHOUT *
* THE AUTHORS' WRITTEN PERMISSION *
* AND HALF OF THE AUTHORS DON'T *
* KNOW HOW TO WRITE. THE OTHER HALF *
* ARE USUALLY DRUNK! *
* *
* - That's a god-dammed warning *
* *
**************************************
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
YOURMOTHERSUCKSCOCKSINHELL
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Disclaimer: The authors have gone to a hell of a lot of trouble to ensure
that this file contains no offensive material. However, should you find
anything which you object to, STIFF SHIT! You can't sue us!
This file is written with the intent of producing a humorous
file which will be enjoyed by everyone, and no offence is intended towards
any person or persons however much they are mentioned.
So kiss my ass Vagababy!
