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Activist Times Inc. Issue 092
new moon correction: Bruce Sterling's "Highly
anarcho" quote about ATI
appeared on page 86. Not 81 as
told in issue 91 of Activist
Thymes.
Thanks for noticing Scheptik.
As you can see, unlike most
paper newspapers, ATI is happy
to print corrections right on
its front page; rather than
burying "said" on page 3!!!
This issue goes out
to the members of
the band Rancid.
Thanks, guys.
Hello. Welcome to issue 92 of ATI, Actively Twisted Intelsat.
We'll begin with:
--------------> Random Notes from Ground Zero
gr0und0@juno.com
Hey folks. 2600 Magazine's Beyond Hope was GREAT. I had a blast
checking out all the interesting panels, seeing some old friends and
meeting people.
Hopefully I'll have an article in the next issue about it.
This time, I have a guest contributor, Taxula.
But first, here's a few jokes to set the mood..
**********
JOKE #1:
**********
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. The
umpire walks up to the VIP section and yells something, and suddenly
Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and
onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President! I said,
'Throw the first PITCH!'"
**********
JOKE #2:
**********
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's
special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. "The chicken sounds good;
I'll have that," Hillary says.
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, He'll have the fish," Hillary replies.
**********
JOKE #3:
**********
Q. Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved?
A. The nation.
And now, I present.. Taxula!
Best Answer Award
----- ---------- --------
This year's award for the best answer to a whiney liberal question goes to
Ben Beltzer, founder and director of the Interfaith Housing Coalition of
Dallas. First, some background.
Interfaith is a non-profit organization that helps homeless people get back
on their feet. The people are given a place to live, clothing, and food.
They have three months to complete educational programs, find their own
housing, get a job, and save $1,200. So far, 800 people have graduated
from
the program and an independant study found 2 out of 3 still off the dole
and
off the street two years later.
Interfaith takes no government money for its $690,000 budget because
Beltzer
doesn't like the paperwork or the rules that come with it. In fact, he
returned $15,000 to the feds because, had he taken it, he would have been
unable to enforce one of his firmest rules: do drugs and you're gone.
Which
leads us neatly to the whiney liberal question and the answer.
Jay and Connie were a young couple on the program. Jay was caught using
drugs, twice. The first time he was warned and sent to rehab, the second
time they had to go. Jay picked up his young daughter and thrust her toward
Beltzer asking the whiney liberal question, "YOU'RE not going to put her on
the streets are you?"
Beltzer looked at him clear eyed and replied, "No, YOU are."
On a happy note, Connie is now clean, working, in her own apartment, and
has
full custody of both their children. And Jay? Who the heck cares?
TAXULA (Sucking your wallets dry, not for me, but for the children.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks, Ground Zero. And now for the Prime Anarchist Productions #'s run.
PAP, as you know is a subsidiary of NOPE and Nope, it's not Sunday. It's
Monday, September 1, 1997. 9am believe it or not. We begin our numbers run
(a short one this week)
<jumps out of seat looking pissed> - Wait! There's that Royal "we" again.
To hell with that!! No more Royal we, no more Royal we. Long live the
Royal we. I'm the only one writing this column, so for the rest of this
article, yours truly, Prime Anarchist will refer to himself as "I."
heheheheh.
We are not amused.
OK, why so short? I didn't have a lot of time to hunt stuff down. Why you
might ask. Because "I" have been spending the last 3 days straight (almost
literally) getting the all new ATI web page started. That's right, you
heard it here first. That's right; Angelfire Communications Corporation
decided to sponsor us with a free web page. Go look at it.
http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/ATI.html
Teaching myself HTML is really fun. Carl of Franklinsnet helped with the
graphics. OK, so here's the #'s run; and then on to news and stuff.
http://www.amazon.com review your book, review someone else's.
http://envirolink.org/mcspotlight/home.html Find out what's new around
E-Coli hell.
http://www.queenbee.net/members/pieman Get pied, or just look like one.
http://www.netvideo.com/nobody This November let's put Nobody in
The White House. OK, I guess we can
Wait until the 00 year. But we'd
Better hurry up and put Nobody in
The White House.
Casa Blanca.
There were no letters to the Editor this week. Got a really weird letter
Thursday, but we won't go into that.
"If I shaved my..." well never mind, I said "we" wouldn't go there.
CALENDULA - Sept 3, 1964. The Wilderness Act was passed.
Sept 5, 1887. Crazy Horse was assassinated.
Sept 8, 1763. Stephan Glotlov lands on Kodiak Island demanding
Tribute for Empress Katherine's horse. They refuse
And attack the Russians driving them back to about
Where Alaska's farthest finger sits.
Sept 9, 1919. Boston police strike. UPS workers loot for 3 days.
Sep 10, 1997. Quarter moon. Give part of a howl.
Sep 15, 1995. Largest mass arrest in US environmental history.
1,033. Wow. 14 to a cell?
Sep 16, 1971. Greenpeace sets to sea for the first time.
1997. Full moon. Arouuuuuuuew.
Sep 18, 1987. Pope John Paul II tells native American's to just
Forget the past in a Phoenix, AZ speech.
Sep 22, 1997. Equinox.
Sep 23, 1997 3/4 moon.
Sep 27, 1995. Clinton signs Salvage Rider into law."Scarey," says
A local owl. "Where will I live?"
Sep 30, 1882. First hydroelectric plant, WI.
Oct 22, 1936. Bobby Seale born. Anyone know if that's New Haven?
Nov 12, 1974. Karen Silkwood dies.
Dec 4, 1835. Hot time in old town. Manhattan burned down. Or
Were they referring to Chicago? London? Hmmm...
Jan 10, 1901. Oil discovered in Texas.
Jan 24, 1848. Gold discovered in California.
Feb 1, 1960. Civil rights sit-ins begin.
Feb 4, 1913. Rosa Parks born.
Feb 17, 1778. Fernando Sor born.
Feb 20, 1770. Fernando Carulli born.
Feb 24, 1893. Andres Segovia born.
Feb 26, 1964. Prime Anarchist born.
Feb 27, 1973. 200 people occupy Wonded Knee. Pine Ridge SD.
Mar 24, 1997. Partial Lunar Eclipse.
Each state in a word.
Or two. These are Prime Anarchist observations of the states we call our
etats unidos. I've left out the ones I haven't seen yet, naturally, and I
also alphebetized the thing. This is NOT in the order I experienced them. OK
let's say it was. I visited these states alphabetically, have good reading:
Arizona Dry
Colorado High
Connecticut Tiny
Florida Fire ants
Georgia Y'all
Illinois Urban
Indiana Soy
Iowa Corn
Kansas Leavenworth
Maine Yonder
Maryland Small
Massachussetts Down Country
Minnesota Nord
Missoura Close to Leavenworth
Nebraska Cruisin'
New Hampshire Yuh.
New Jersey No grass.
New Mexico Adobe
New York People.
North Carolina Navy
North Dakota Buffalo
Ohio Columbus sux
Oklahoma Fort Sill
Pencil Vein Yeah Construction
Rogues Island Tiniest
South Carolina Army
South Dakota Hot Springs
Texas Cow oil
Vermont Cow milk
Virginia Hills
West Virginia More hills
Wisconsin Cheese milk
Wyoming Missiles
------------>This list was NOT brought to you by Visi-Calc<--------------
disclaimer: The story you are about to read is to be completely ignored.
I wrote this while Princess Diana was merely injured in a car
crash. She hadn't expired yet.
4 hours later I learned of her death.
Dead.
I can't make fun of the dead.
So until someone figures out the Zombification drug and brings
her back to life, IGNORE THE FOLLOWING:
Princess Diana dumped her car in the Chapamaquody River last night and
lived to tell about it. She swam all the way to the Atlantic where the
currents took her right up the east coast to the Peter Bent Brigham Hospital.
She was found beached next to a dumpster behind a Pizza Hut on Brookline Ave.
Now her boyfriend didn't fare so well. He was aparently trapped in the
car until it reached the Federal Trades Commission building. He was thrown
from the car and spit onto the beach like Jonah out of the whale, pronounced
dead and promptly Knighted in a sunrise ceremony by Ted Kennedy and Chris
Dodd.
While Princess Diana is somewhere between critical and really bad,
Senator Kennedy is somewhere between Scarborough Beach, RI and Kennebunk ME.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
This just in
Webster. 1936. - Scaphism. Punishment. Pouring honey all over
a convict's body and letting insects eat at him or her until s/he dies a
slow tortured death.
... .. ... ...
Smash your Television but
keep your modem. For the
revolution will not be
televised. But it sure WILL
be implemented on the web.
New York, NY - Half a million people marched on the New York Post Office
Friday to protest postal brutality.
Catalyst for the march was an event exactly one year ago today on
Columbus Avenue. A poodle was sniffing a letter carrier's back leg when
worker Claude Debuse Concherto made a furtive gesture that cost him his job.
The dog turned up dead, the house burned down with three people in it and
the family Datsun's charred remains were found upside down in the back yard
over a rose bush.
After an investigation it was determined that Concherto maced the poodle,
kicked her in the head, strangled her with her own hair ribbon and then
beat her over the head senseless with a stack of Publisher's Clearing House
Sweepstakes.
Concherto said it best in court Friday: "I maced the poodle, kicked her
in the head, strangled her with her own hair ribbon and then beat her over
the head senseless with a stack of Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes."
Concherto admitted to torching the building down to cover up a Haitian
drug ring inside that had been selling ginger peanut garlic sauce on the
black market for 4 years. Two family members are still at large and Concherto
will be testifying as to their wherabouts tomorrow.
Concherto is expected to sing.
Martha's Vinyard - Connie Chung has announced a wildcat strike.
"I'm not interviewing anyone anymore," said Chung.
"At least not until I get a Whopper." She said she will not interview
Clinton about the Royal family, the downing of flight 69, or even Hillary's
swimsuit this year. Chung is striking for better pay, wealth benefits, a
burger and a meeting at the Russian Tea Room with Barbara Streisand, Billy
Joel, Tipper Gore and Ozzy Osbourne.
YNTL --> Yellow Journalism Intentional.
Shawano, WI - Folksinging is now illegal in Forest, Langlade, Lincoln,
Oneida, Wood and Vilas counties.
40-60 folksingers were arrested at their annual song circle, cowboy
poetry, hootenany, rave July 8, 1997. The charges? Unlawful assembly,
Shindigging without a permit and discharging a C minor chord within city
limits.
You heard it
first
here.
web citation: http://www.menominee.com/nomining/ef3.html
- - - - + - - - ( 0 ) - - - + - - - - - -
5 years after the quincentennial:
It's Time to:
MAKE OCTOBER 12TH
INDIGENOUS PEOPLES DAY,
Free Leonard Peltier,
Stop Forced Relocation at Big Mountain,
and Build a Movement for Justice
and Human Rights for All!
Five years ago, in 1992, hundreds of thousands, if not millions
of people throughout the Americas spoke out and acted in opposition
to the government sponsored celebrations of Christopher Columbus and in
support of the rights of indigenous peoples.
However today, in 1997, AIM activist Leonard Peltier sits in
prison during this 21st year of incarceration for an act the government knows
he did not commit. It has been revealed that the FBI withheld from his
trial evidence that proves his innocence.
In northeast Arizona, in the Black Mesa area, 3,000 indigenous
people are fighting forced relocation from their land because Peabody
Western Coal Company wants it to make profits.
And there are numerous other examples of both continuing repression
and continuing resistance by indigenous peoples against violations of
their rights.
Join with people around the country who will be fasting from Oct 1
through 12, fasting for part of that time, organizing local demonstrations
and actions, or acting in other ways in solidarity with Leonard Peltier,
the Big Mountain resisters, other struggling Native American peoples and
for the human rights of all.
We will never be free in this country until we face up to the
historic record, set it straight and get it right. "Getting it right" means
honoring, upholding and joining in solidarity with those who have much
to teach us about living in harmony with the natural world, about working
cooperatively for the good of all, and about steadfastness in struggle
despite the most difficult conditions. We urge you to join us this October.
For more information contact the Peoples Fast for Justice,
PO Box 170610
Brooklyn, NY 11217
718-643-9603 (t)
718-643-8265 (f)
indpol@igc.apc.org
------- ( . ) -------
------- ( . . ) -------
------- ( . ) -------
------- ( ) -------
I end this edition of ATI, issue 92
with JOURNAL POME 20 from Marc Frucht's book "I SLURP MY COFFEE: Journal
Pomes 1-33."
JOURNAL POME 20.
BOOT HILL OR BUST
Lunch; Castle Rock: Still
Further sings for the dead.
Pitch covers Yaw, and graveyard
Sings back from across street.
Boot Hill, Colorado: Wild Turkey,
Water and wine. Almost poison.
"Commentary vouz," says Chipmonk-
Looking squirrel guarding his nuts.
Why must prophets die penniless?
Hotsprings everywhere.
Dreams of Halloweens.
"Do you have a Rainbow name?" Anna asks.
"Information," I inform, "given by
Tom Joad. Yours?"
"Matteo gave me it. Spells Anna backwards."
"Zhoinks!" says Scooby Doo.
"A computerized washing machine's not
Worth the tin it's printed on."
Rapid City - You can read the weather off
Jefferson's forehead and Lincoln's chin.
Went sole searching, just got scrod.
Newport, RI. Bought Birkenstock Arizonas
From Thames St. cobbler after chowderfest.
Blood red moon drops in on Ocean Beach.
440 a.m. Grapeful Dead on FM.
& no fog rolls up New London Harbour 2day.
Moorehead, MINN. 2-masted Viking ship.
Earl Eye In The Morning
Tells jokes on FM radio.
Fargo, ND. Might as well be Moorehead.
Squash and Barq's root beer, then
Minuet in G under concrete
Buffalo balls.
There's a box of buffalo
Manure in Bismark and Mandan too.
Ground Round, good coffee, great
Cod, but blah chowder.
3.9 richter quake tremor for Danbury.
Nervous, CT. Has a fault of her
Own. Albany's fault too.
"Seizmik," says Scooby Doo.
She who takes limo to Dylan Concert
Serves two masters.
Radio station and cocaine. Zhoinks!
A Beatrice New-Fig-Newton: car or cookie??
Medina parries; Mecca thrusts.
that's it.
thanks for reading.
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