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TELEGRAPH



Entertainment for the discerning indie geek

Published by the Telegraph Pioneers Of America: A partnership between
Klang Industries and IndieCoRe

Telegraph Transmission Three: The Search For Spock - October, 1994

In This Action-Packed Episode

* My Forgotten Favorite, aka Whatever happened to... : Scene is
crazy, bands start up, each and every day. I saw a new one just
the other day, a special new band... uh, here's where Mark, Sean
and Jodi take a look back at some indie faves from a few years ago
and find out what happened. Did you see the drummer's hair?
* Media Bullshit Watch: "The Alternative Beer"
* IndieCoRe's Field Guide To The Net: hey, someone's bound to do
this eventually - why not A Name You Can Trust (tm)? Free plugs
for mailing lists, archives, etc. in this joint IL/TG project.
* Live Review: Yep, it's a review in Telegraph. Said I wouldn't do
it but I lied. Jawbox, Picasso Trigger, and Maximillian Colby, a
night to remember?
* The award-winning Coursing Thru The Wires
* More more more

Note



Tim Day missed his deadline, so his CMJ article will not be appearing
in this issue. Check back next time. Sorry.

Introduction/Editorial Rant



Mark Cornick, mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu

Hey, look! It's a new issue of Telegraph and the last one was only
something like six weeks ago! Oh, MY.

You may notice that the plaintext version of this TG has nicer
formatting than the last few. Well, net.audience, the reason for this
is that TG is now being edited as hypertext, and then created to
plaintext. I'm going to be concentrating on the hypertext (WWW)
edition in the future, adding more graphics to it & etc. However, the
plaintext mail version will always continue to exist. The formatting
may be a little strange - especially the names of LPs, which show up
as underlined and/or italics in HTML, but unformatted in plaintext.
I'm trying to find a workable way to fix this.

For those of you reaing this on WWW, you probably noticed that we have
a new home on the Web at etext.org, who have hosted our FTP and Gopher
archive for a while now. My departure from the Hopper project
necessitated the move, but it actually works out for the best because
now everything's in one place. Also, we are able to keep back issues
in hypertext and plaintext formats.

Mail addresses are the same as before - mail Sean for subscriptions
and me for everything else. Depending on what etext.org management
does, we may end up with a mailbox on their machine, but we'll worry
about that if/when it happens.

etext.org (as you may know) provides archives to many electronic
'zines. Other than Telegraph, you can find quality stuff like
Armadillo Culture, SuperStupidSlambook and the ever-popular Screams
Of Abel on etext.org. Take a look around!

Unfortunately, the price of progress is the 33% downsizing of
Telegraph Pioneers Of America. I would like to thank Chris Karlof, who
has capably archived Telegraph since its inception, for his services
as Telegraph archivist. The new arrangement with etext.org has
eliminated the need for an archivist. Chris will be continuing as
Indie-List archivist, however. Thanks, Chris!

Well, I'm now settled comfortably back into Harrisonburg, Virginia,
quickly becoming known for something other than poultry processing
(Harrisonburg, not me), although I don't know what... Oh, yeah, right,
the live scene. Believe it or not, folks, this little farm town has
become a return stop for touring bands. In the four weeks I've been
here we've hosted Eggs, the Coctails, Nothing Painted Blue, the
Woggles and Pitchblende, for starters. Next up: Jawbox and Picasso
Trigger. Later, Archers of Loaf. This in a place where, two short
years ago, the only place to play was in somebody's basement. Wow,
man. (Actually this sort of makes sense; a lot of JMU's students are
from Washington DC or its suburbs, and have (a) pretty diverse musical
tastes and (b) an expectation that there'll be something good to
watch. It's paid off, I think.)

As I type this it's September 26, a Monday. This, of course, means
that new major label releases will be out tomorrow. There's a bunch -
R.E.M., Ween, Slayer (SLAYER! SLAYER! SLAYER! 6! 6! 6!), and many
others, possibly including the long-delayed DGC reissues of Sonic
Youth's Evol, Sister and Ciccone Youth: The Whitey Album. There is,
however, one release that's being particularly hyped in these parts:
the RCA Records Label Of BMG Music (that's the name of the label,
check that used copy of the 700 Miles CD in any record shop in the
USA) debut of Virginia's own Dave Matthews Band. Under The Table And
Dreaming is its name, truly awful music is its game.

Let me say first that I have nothing against Dave Matthews (or his
band) personally. Early in his career, he and his band played here at
JMU and I thought he was a nice guy. I understand that he still is, in
spite of his enormous, nearly-rock-star-plateau success. And some of
his sidemen (particularly sax man Leroi Moore) are ace musicians. Ol'
Dave may, in fact, be proof that nice guys finish first. He sold 74
gajillion copies of his DIY first CD, attracting the attention of
various major labels and affording him the opportunity to hire Steve
"Will Produce U2 For Food" Lillywhite to produce the new one. This
tirade is not about Dave Matthews The Human Being.

It's about Dave Matthews The Musician. He's annoying. Lord, is he
annoying. That voice! That whiny, nasal,
whasisface-from-Live-(The-Band)-affected howl. Do a few whippets, grab
your throat, and say the five vowels very quickly. This is
approximately what Davey boy sounds like. Now let's turn to his band.
They can blow jazz. They can rock. They can, in the words of
Klangfellow Mike Gangloff, play some HOUSE ROCKING BLUES!
Unfortunately, they've decided to do that H.O.R.D.E. Boogie. (I think
the DMB even played some dates on the last H.O.R.D.E. insurgence.
Wouldn't surprise me a bit. Of course, since I didn't go, I don't
know.) This naturally makes Dave & co. popular with a bunch of people
whose musical tastes I generally can't abide:
* frat boys
* Deadheads
* Phish heads (roly poly Phish heads, eat 'em up, yum!)
* Michael Stipe
* Every booking agent in Charlottesville
* AAA radio
* H.O.R.D.E. zombies
* You get the idea.



Well, there's very little I can do to deny Dave Matthews and band the
mainstream success they will very likely achieve. I suppose I could
cruise by the release party at Crossroads Concert Hall And Sports Bar
(one of the few times I will say that "Trax" was a better name for
this place) in Charlottesville tonight, and fire a flamethrower into
the release party in progress. Advantages: Not only would this wipe
out Dave, it would wipe out hundreds of his fans, and Shannon Worrell
too (the less said about her the better.) Disadvantage 1: My friend
Stephanie will be working there (her day job is at Plan 9 Records
who's co-sponsoring the show) and would most likely be killed in the
resulting inferno. Stephanie doesn't deserve to die. Disadvantage 2:
This would make Dave a martyr. "Dave Matthews Died For Your Sins!" I
don't think so. Disadvantage 3: Dying is a great career move. Ask Jim
Croce, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison (why are all these guys named "Jim",
anyway?) or you-know-who. Nah, as much as I'd like to, I can't do
this. It's fucking futile.

So, anyway, when you see that copy of Under The Table And Sucking Slag
Battery's Dick on the record store shelves, or when the Dave Matthews
Band rolls through your town, think of me and what I've said, and go
see another band instead. (No one else playing? Go read a book.)

Forgotten Favorites



Mark Cornick, mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu

The vaguely definable shared experience we call "the indie scene" has
a few notable characteristics. One is its dynamic state. The
do-it-yourself ethic has been around for years, ostensibly since the
Flamin' Groovies released the first widely successful DIY album back
in 1968 or so. Of course, it took hold with the punk thing in the late
70s, and has existed in some form or another since. Lately it's become
pretty fashionable, even. The DIY spirit that typifies the world of
indie music inspires hundreds of bands yearly. You wanna play music,
you go right ahead and make yourself a band. Indie folks have always
been good at publicity, too; between the numerous large and small
'zines, word-of-mouth, and now Internet, it's not terribly hard to get
noticed if you're doing something halfway decent. (Or something
horribly wretched, actually, but that's another story.) People like
seeking out new bands, and indie fans like to latch onto new bands
that they like, much like fans of any other form of music.

The fact that no one's waiting on The Man to create their music career
for them results in a lot of new bands competing for indie listeners'
attention on almost a daily basis. At WXJM Radio, we get several 45s
and dozens of CDs a month from bands we've never heard of. When you're
presented with a bunch of new bands and end up liking a handful of
them, it's inevitable that some of the bands you used to be into will
take a backseat to your new favorites. (Don't say you don't do this. I
saw those Duran Duran records in your closet.)

What happens to a band deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the
sun? Or does it EXPLODE? Could go either way. There've been a few
bands that I thought were 100% Hot Shit who putzed out and are
probably working at El Taco now. On the other hand, there've been some
bands that I wrote off early on who've become big stars. (I never,
NEVER would've predicted the success of Alice In Chains, f'rinstance.)


Okay, here's a look back at some bands/artists/records I was into a
few years ago, and what happened to them.
* Sexual Milkshake (1991): The presence of Harrisonburg's Sexual
Milkshake, and their merrie band of fans & groupies, were what
made my first year at JMU tolerable. SM weren't a great band
musically -- OK, let's face it, most people think they were
horrible -- but they successfully covered up for it with a
fantastically calculated image. Going to a Sexy Milkshake show was
like going to a carnival as presented by the Church of the
Sub-Genius - wild costumes, films projected all over the place,
etc. There was one show where they each had trampolines and they
trampolined thru the entire set. OK, so the music sucked (they
admit as much) but Sexual Milkshake were one of the most
entertaining acts since vaudeville. Where They Are Now: They
released one album, Sing-A-Long In Hebrew (Teenbeat, 1992) which
was easily one of the most extravagantly packaged CDs ever.
Vocalist Greg Allen moved away in 1992 and SM ground to a halt
sometime thereafter. Bassist Jill Murphy hasn't been heard from
since. Guitarist Todd Massie and drummer Chris Callahan stuck
around Harrisonburg for a while, playing in a few bands. Massie
moved to Portland, Oregon and is probably doing something or other
out there. Callahan moved to Arlington and hit the Lollapalooza
bigtime in Blastoff Country Style.
* Courtney Love (1992): Like many other people, I stumbled onto
Courtney Love (the band) through confusion with Courtney Love
(lead singer of Hole.) I'd heard some of the Hole stuff and while
it didn't excite me terribly, I was curious to see what would come
next. So I was a little surprised to pull this 45 off the shelf,
put it on and hear this acoustic pop stuff. It definitely wasn't
what I expected, but I liked its simplicity and directness. I
picked up the Olympia, Washington duo's three 45s which, along
with some compilation tracks, comprise the Courtney Love
discography, and thus began my investigation of the K label, which
eventually led me to Beat Happening. Pretty cool, huh? Where They
Are Now: Courtney Love's duo, Lois Maffeo and Pat Maley, called it
a day sometime in 1992. Maffeo, who had moved to Washington DC
previously, formed a new band called Lois, recorded two albums,
Butterfly Kiss (K, 1992) and Strumpet (K, 1993) and was called a
folksinger in Option. Maley still lives in Olympia where he runs
the Yo-Yo studio and label, and recently hosted a multi-day,
multi-band indie extravaganza called Yo-Yo A-Go-Go.
* Therapy? (1992-3): If you look back at the Spring, 1993 WXJM
Program Guide, you can see my review of Therapy?'s major-label
debut, Nurse. I noted that the public was tiring of MTV grunge,
and would soon be demanding something a little more substantial. I
predicted that these Killing Joke-influenced Irish lads would be
the proverbial Next Big Thing. Guess I was wrong. Where They Are
Now: Nurse (A&M, 1992) garnered a lot of critical praise but
didn't sell very many copies. Ditto for the followup, Troublegum
(A&M, 1994.) Maybe it was that scary cover art on the
"Teethgrinder" 45... Therapy? are still around and will probably
continue to make records, although I seriously doubt their next LP
will be recorded for A&M. (Therapy? did release an album,
Caucasian Psychosis, on Quarterstick/Touch & Go before they got
signed by A&M, but very few people noticed then, either.)
* Sliang Laos (1993): Richmond, Virginia has long been known for two
musical exports: GWAR, and instrumental, jazz-influenced rock
bands (Alter Natives, Hotel X, King Sour, and perhaps most
notoriously, Breadwinner, kings of the carefully measured,
spastically polyrhythmic form of music that became known as
"math-rock.") Sliang Laos, while not directly affiliated with any
of the above groups, nonetheless uncomfortably (VERY
uncomfortably) fused GWAR's cartoony metal sludge (albeit without
the ridiculous costumes) with the noise and morse-code patterns of
math-rock. The result? Where They Are Now: Sliang Laos cut a 45,
"Alabama Ego" (Tenderizer, 1993), and made appearances on a few
compilations, culminating in a Sliang Laos track appearing on an
Invisible Records compilation, Can You See It Yet? They play live
about once every six months; however, the dueling egos (six or
seven of them) keep them from assembling in one room without
killing each other, and people are afraid to ask them when they're
going to get off their butts and do something new. Many of the
Sliangers have side projects which sound nothing like Sliang Laos,
notably the techno/ambient band Somatron.



So there you go; four bands that I thought were going to do big
things. Courtney Love definitely had their day. Therapy? enjoy some
limited success. Sexy Milkshake broke up before they could sell out.
Sliang Laos hate each other too much to try. What's the moral of the
story? I dunno. Some people make it, some don't. It's hard to predict.

What Ever Happened To __________?



Sean Murphy, grumpy@access.digex.net

NOTE: Before I launch into another "controversial" piece of writing,
I'd like to make a formal apology to all members of the bands Scarce
and Juicy and to Steve Silverstein for my factual errors in Telegraph
#2. While I stand by my personal assessment of the music I saw
displayed by Juicy on one occasion and the stories related to me by
other friends whose musical opinions I value (i.e. they weren't doing
anything remotely interesting or worthwhile on stage), the more
derogatory remarks or insinuations were not specifically intended.

Specifically, I apologize for alleging that Juicy was "merely content"
to mimic Bratmobile's style and devoid of any heart or seriousness.
Additionally, my error in calling Joyce "a member of Juicy" was a
substantial one, particularly for someone who 1.) has been informed
otherwise in the past; and 2.) places a significant value on the
factual accuracy of written material, as those who witnessed my
editorial stint at the Indie List [and the overabundance of square
brackets during that time] may recall.

DISCLAIMER: Any questions or concerns about the content of the
following article should be directed to me at grumpy@access.digex.net.
I do take responsibility for my writing, including its factual
content, its potential pretensions, and some of its possible
implications. Unintended inferences are the responsibility of the
person doing the inferring, however, not mine. I would be happy to
discuss individual points at greater length through private e-mail.

[ This would be a good time to remind everyone that opinions presented
in TG are those of the individual authors, and are not necessarily my
opinions, unless I wrote the text in question. If you have a beef with
an author, take it to them, not me. - Mark ]

OK, enough of that. (Guess who's supposed to be studying for the LSAT
but writing this instead...) Let's get down to business.

"What ever happened to... ?"

It's a nice song lyric, and a decent question to ask every once in a
while. Perhaps just as important as the question, though, are the
reasons the question exists - why things which seemed
great/wonderful/huge just disappear sometimes. (Yes, rhetorical
questions are a bad way to start essays, but nobody's grading this, so
fuck it. It's an easy intro, at any rate...)

A couple days ago, I was listening to a tape I had made early in 1991,
during my first semester as a "full time" college DJ. I didn't own any
of the stuff I taped, though I wanted to have my own copies of each
record (and I still do, oddly enough, after picking up all but 2 of
the culprits). The stuff on side two was King Kong (Movie Star 7"),
Ed's Redeeming Qualities (Ed's Day 7"), Superchunk (4 songs from the
first LP), Dinosaur Jr. (The Wagon 7"), and King Missile (two tracks
from "Mystical Shit"). [Side one was Funkadelic's Maggot Brain and
although it's a wonderful album, it doesn't really enter this
discussion - we all know where George Clinton is right now...] And
Mark's "suggested topic" just hit me. What the fuck happened to all
those bands since I made that tape, considering that I more or less
don't care about what they do at this point?

First, a quick rundown of the bands:
* King Kong - released a second single, then the enormously popular
Old Man On The Bridge LP on Homestead (I can't begin to explain
the number of requests I and my fellow DJs have gotten for the
"heba heba heeba hobba hoba hooba hobba" song). After a tour in
support of that LP, Ethan Buckler broke up the band and then
proceeded to re-form it with a new cast of characters, leading to
the incredibly disappointing Funny Farm LP on the Drag City label.
* Ed's Redeeming Qualities - have a couple LPs, have broken up as
far as I know. The unfortunate death of one member placed a
definite strain on the band, and the songwriting deteriorated -
demented classics like "Lawn Dart" and "The Boy I Work With" gave
way to dull songs notable only for the use of ukeleles and violin.
Carrie Bradley still makes guest appearances on other records
(like the Breeders).
* Superchunk - became the absolute darlings of the independent world
(this was the pre-Slanted & Enchanted era) based on "Slack
Motherfucker." Put out a number of great singles, each time
followed by less successful albums. While I've been complaining
this point for ages, I still think that Jon Wurster's drumming
gets mixed WAY TOO HIGH in live settings, making it impossible to
distinguish songs from each other. This basic formula (great
single, dull LP) will probably persist until the band breaks up.
* Dinosaur Jr. - got signed to Reprise. Put out one somewhat
interesting LP (Green Mind), followed by a dull one (Where You
Been), and now apparently have another new one that I'll hear on
the radio shortly and probably not bother buying. Lou Barlow had
already played his last with J. before "The Wagon" was released,
making the steady decline in Dino-output a potential case of "J.'s
got nobody to fight with - the lack of tension has led him to
produce boring shit not worthy of the name Dinosaur."
* King Missile - got signed based on the strength of their
"underground hit," "Jesus Was Way Cool." Changed the band line-up
and musical sound to the point where kids will slam at their shows
without thinking about it, even when the band decides to cover
Elton John's "Love Lies Bleeding." (No joke - I witnessed this in
March of '93 at the 9:30 Club in DC. Frightening.) They're relying
too much on John S. Hall to make up another couple of stories that
will have the mass appeal of "Jesus..." - and I'm still somewhat
surprised that the record label pushed "Detachable Penis" in this
age of FCC hysteria about indecency and obscenity - this song
breaks the innuendo line a few times... Apparantly, they have a
new LP, too - I'll race you to Tower Records...



Scorecard - 4 bands still active. 2 signed to major labels. 1 1/2
still marginally interesting (I think Ethan Buckler's still got a
trick or two left up his sleeve if he picks up the damn guitar again,
and I'll get back to Superchunk in a moment, but neither one rates a
full band-point).

For 5 bands which seemed really exciting and interesting to me at the
beginning of 1991, a "survival" rate of 35% isn't so hot. Of course,
this may say more about my ability to choose good bands than anything
else, but in 1991, I would bet that many other people were expecting
good things from these same bands.

Superchunk is the most interesting case of the five, because they
illustrate a phenomenon that I'm finally beginning to understand - the
"singles" band. The Buzzcocks and The Jam were singles bands. Pet
Clark was a singles singer. While full LPs from such performers can be
entertaining in toto, more often it is a collection of specific songs
that sparks the most interest. I listen to Singles Going Steady much
more than I listen to A Different Kind Of Tension. For Superchunk, I
think their true defining moments come in 7" doses - Slack
Motherfucker, My Noise, Cast Iron, Mower, What Do I, Cool, Seed Toss,
Precision Auto. For this reason, Tossing Seeds (and its inevitable
future companion) has a place right next to Singles Going Steady (and
the forthcoming Tsunami singles comp) in my heart - that's where the
winners are, without it being an explicit "greatest hits" package. In
a difference over the days of Pet Clark, however, it's not a label
executive declaring "we need a hit single before we release an album"
but rather a quirk of fate that makes this all possible. [I'm obvously
going to allow for the occasional great song to slip by onto the LP
format - Not Tomorrow being my favorite example for Chunk - but in
general the LPs ride on the singles at best and bury them at worst.]

Essentially, some bands just aren't meant to make LPs. When they
persist in doing so, they risk losing the attention of the people most
inclined to like them. I don't think all the bands listed above were
singles bands - Dinosaur wasn't, and King Kong's first LP was a
cohesive, solid listening experience. Superchunk is a singles band (or
rather, Mac is a single-writer - looking over his expanse of recorded
output, I find it much easier to extract songs than full recorded
units, from Slushpuppies to Wwax to my beloved Bricks to Portastatic.)
Extended listening can become tiresome, and this isn't an effect of
MTV or any other cultural phenomenon.

At the same time, there are numerous counterexamples to the singles
band. MX-80 Sound LPs should be listened to in their entirety. The
same is true for Antietam. Husker Du. (If you still haven't done this,
listen to Zen Arcade, all four sides, in one sitting, preferably at
high volume and with lots of caffeine accessible. It's a truly
mindblowing experience to reach the piano interludes or the false end
siren in "Recurring Dreams" and then get kicked back into the frenzy.)
Rodan (R.I.P., and may all their individual musical endeavors in the
future be as successful). Lots of jazz should be taken in full blocks
- A Love Supreme, a significant portion of Charlie Mingus's stuff,
Pharoah Sanders, Anthony Braxton, Eric Dolphy. I can't imagine
listening to excerpts from Terry Riley's "Descending Moonshine
Dervishes" or "A Rainbow in Curved Air" although the shorter of those
two pieces is 18 minutes (the longer is 52 minutes). Ditto for Glass's
"Einstein On The Beach" - a major part of the effect of the work is
the saturation of repetition and arpeggiation.

What is the point, you ask? Well, perhaps bands should do some sort of
self-evaluation every so often. They should look at what they've done,
what they've been satisfied with, what has interested them the most.
I'm not saying that a "singles band" can't make a coherent, satisfying
LP. (Superchunk's first LP was a good one, not just because it had
"Slack MF" and "My Noise" on it.) Bands should recognize their
strengths, however, and while they shouldn't rest on their laurels,
it's still worth knowing what you're good at and occasionally sticking
to it or going back to it. Neil Young has tried a million and one
different musical experiments, but every so often he takes the time to
record with Crazy Horse. It's not always perfect, but the musical
environment "Neil Young with Crazy Horse" is a known commodity where
it's safe and certain types of songs will essentially "work,"
particularly the epic guitar stuff (though that ploy doesn't work on
Sleeps With Angels). It's not just a gesture for the fans, it's not
cashing in (unlike the "reunion" tours of late - why the fuck do we
need a fucking Eagles tour with $100+ tickets at the box office?),
it's a return to an accustomed, enjoyable musical expression.

So, I've rambled far off the intended path, come to no real
conclusions, and wasted a significant amount of time (both mine in
writing and yours in reading). I'm bound to come back to these ideas
again (both "whatever happened to" and the idea of singles vs. lp
bands) but maybe I'll have more coherent points to make next time.
Maybe we can get a discourse going on the more philosophical aspects
of music instead of x number of people spitting their thoughts into
the wind.

Whatever it all means, at least there was music then that made a
difference. Maybe there are a couple bands in the world which have had
the plain goal of making one single and then disappearing, but if
someone heard that single, then the band filled its role. Maybe I'm
full of shit. These issues aren't changing, though - it's just the
examples pulled or the circumstances under which they're revisited
that vary, based on writers and their experiences. But if anyone out
there has that Ed's Redeeming Qualities single, I'd still like to have
a copy - "Lawn Dart" still makes me both laugh and cry and that's a
good feeling to have sometimes.

Nostalgia Is Beautiful



Jodi Shapiro, jodi@dsm.fordham.edu

There are a lot of records in my room, my mom's house (taking up her
closet space, she yells), my dad's house, my office. A lot of them
haven't been played in a long while for one reason or another. Some
are just unpacked from my last move (two years ago, if you must know).
Some are truly forgotten and my kids will find them and say "Hey mom!
You liked these guys?".

Then there's the ones that I can't get to because they're in my mom's
house upstate (though I couldn't live without Tar's Jackson so I
bought it on CD), and I didn't have a turntable until a week or so
ago, so I didn't bother to bring them to my apartment. I fished it out
of the garbage and re-wired some things. It works like new, and now I
wish I had these four records with me:
* Dirt, "Cleft On The Chin, Devil Within" 7": John Forbes is in
Mount Shasta now, but Dirt was where he started yelling. They were
pretty much ignored when they were around, maybe because they were
based in Atlanta, not the hotbed of musical scenes. Eventually
they mutated into Seersucker, put out a full album, then imploded.
I only know of one other person who liked Dirt, and that's Steve
Albini (gratuitious name-drop) and I'm not sure what that means. I
got this single when I was working at Rockpool, and I played it
every day for about three months. I hummed it in class. The
b-side, "Booger" was cool too. Everyone thought I was crazy, which
made me feel better.
* In Tua Nua, The Long Acre: Okay, it's wussy Celtic pop, but "Don't
Fear Me Now" was an aces song, as was the rest of the album. It's
probably the only album out of my "I love U2 so I have to buy all
these other Irish records too" phase that I actually miss. I
bought it on the way home one day, in The Wiz, because I had heard
one of the songs on the radio and liked it. The girl's voice was
really beautiful. As was the custom with bands I liked in high
school, they were destined to obscurity. I think this was their
only album.
* Sad Sack, "Heinous Bitch" 7": I got this from two guys in Albany,
Jack and Dave. They ran a record store named ERL and later started
the record label of the same name. I'd spend about $100 a week
there, using my food money for as many singles as I could afford.
Dave and Jack always took care of me, giving me credit, slipping
free records in my bag, special ordering stuff. The store is gone
now (or so I'm told), but Dave and Jack are out there somewhere.
Sad Sack was the third or fourth record ERL put out, pre-Mosquito
and Jad Fair stuff. It was poorly recorded, cheaply pressed and
had a handmade cheesy cover. The singer sounds like he's drowning,
and the drum machine sounds tinny. The song is timeless, with it's
chorus of "Heinous bitch! Fucking witch!". There's a real neat
guitar hook buried somewhere in this sludge, and I can still play
it if I really concentrate. I saw a copy of this in Reckless
(Chicago) a few weeks ago and tried to convince my friend Nuuj
that it was worth getting. It's still there. What a pity.
* Olivelawn, any and all: Now they're broken up, because they all
hated each other's guts. Some are in fluf, another great band I
never shut up about. Their "Instant Punk Rock Song Just Add Water"
single is indespensable. I've owned their first album a total of
three times (well, 2 1/2 because one got stolen out of a friend's
car). So they were derivative punk rock. They still fried my
burger.



There's lots more. Like a lot of people, I started really buying
records when I was in high school. Nobody else ever liked what I
liked, and if they did, they never admitted it. Lots of stuff I liked
back then has stuck with me, and I eventually found other people who
had those records too. Some of those bands are regarded as
'influential' now, which makes me feel sort of smug when someone says
"Hey, these guys were really cool- -where was I?". I just sit there
quietly and think about the day I went to the CBGB record canteen and
bought it.

The Alternative Beer (non-musical article, but with a humorous slant)



Mark Cornick, mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu

I guess it was bound to happen eventually. Parntership For A Drug-Free
America contributors Anheuser-Busch, manufacturers of a popular
recreational drug called Budweiser, has realized what Taco Bell did a
couple years back: that they better start marketing to that Generation
X pretty damn quick!

The result: Bud Dry, one of the absolute worst beers I've ever had
(and that includes Milwaukee's Beast), is now marketed as "The
Alternative Beer." Jangle-pop radio commercials,
win-a-trip-to-the-Reading-Festival contests, blah blah blah. Drink Bud
Dry, they say, and you'll be a young, cool, totally-with-it
alternadude/alternababe.

I'll approach this from several sides:
1. Principled Rant: Who'd be drinking an "alternative beer"? Right,
alternadudes and alternababes. How many alternadweebs do you know
that are of age? I don't know any. (At least, I don't know anyone
of age that would dare call themselves "alternative." It kinda
dates you, ya know.) Given the fact that hundreds of teens
(alternative or not) die or are injured in alcohol-related
incidents each year, I'd say it's pretty damn irresponsible of
Anheuser-Busch to market to a hugely underage demographic. I got
nothing against beer - I drink, copiously on occasion, never to
inebriation - but there's enough pressure on kids to drink without
this "alternative" shit.
2. Indie-centric Rant: Bud Dry? A major-label beer? Alternative?
Fuck, no! I ain't buying no corporate beer! (And that includes
those psuedo-indie beers like Icehouse.) Bartender! A round of
Yuengling Porter for me and my indie-punk friends! (Shit. The Man
just keeps eating into every last bit of the independent world.
Damn. Next thing you know, Sam Adams'll sign a bottling deal with
Miller.)
3. The Pragmatic Approach: Well, I guess Bud Dry could be an
alternative beer. I mean, if they were out of everything else,
including Oly (it's the^H^H^H water!) and I really needed to
drink, Bud Dry would be my only alternative.
4. Rebuttal Of The Pragmatic Approach: I'd never be *that* desperate.
5. Budget-Conscious Approach: Hey, wait a minute. Bud Dry's a
"premium" beer (it costs more money.) Alternative folks ain't got
no cash. They just spent it all on Lollapalooza. They can't afford
nothing but Beast. Man, Beast's the alternative beer. No question
about it.
6. And finally, Mark's honest opinion: If you ask me, the Radioactive
Rat Brewery 1993 Pumpkin Brew was a truly alternative beer. (What
the hell brewing process was that, Mike?) Actually, I think the
whole idea is fucking ludicrous. It's a good thing we Generation
X'ers are supposed to be immune to advertising, eh? Whatever.

IndieCoRe's Field Guide To The Internet seeks listings



Mark Cornick, mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu

Indie-List Communications Research (IndieCoRe, aka ILIJ) is
currently seeking listings for IndieCoRe's Field Guide To The
Internet. This joint IL/TG project will create a net-accessible
list of indie-related resources on Internet: mailing lists,
newsgroups, WWW pages, FTP archives, label/band addresses, etc.
The purpose is twofold: (1) to help indie fans on the Net find new
stuff to check out, and (2) to help the people operating these
resources get some publicity. We seek your input - take a look
through your hotlist and tip us off to your favorite indie
net.stuff. We have a few stipulations:
+ Resources must be available to the general public. Also, this
guide will be widely distributed over Internet, so please
don't ask for a listing for a resource that's averse to this
sort of publicity (there are some out there - if you're not
sure, check with the owner first.)
+ Label/band addresses will be listed only if directly
requested by the owner of the address. That is, an address
won't be listed unless the person who owns that account sends
mail (from that account) requesting a listing. This is to
respect people's decisions as to whether or not they want to
receive mail (and how much.)
+ Include a short (5 lines or less) description to go along
with the listing. Be objective.
+ Anything indie-related is acceptable. Listings will only be
rejected if the editors deem them unrelated (in some way or
another) to indie music.


If you'd like to have something listed, send the appropriate
information to mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu. We will continue
accepting listings through the end of November.

Live Review: Jawbox/Picasso Trigger/Maximillian Colby



Mark Cornick, mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu

Earlier I mentioned that the next show to arrive in Harrisonburg
(at the time that article was written) would be Jawbox with
Picasso Trigger, sponsored by WXJM. Well, they came, they played,
and here's what happened.

Opening the show were local hardcore heroes Maximillian Colby. Two
old friends of mine, neither of whom I've talked to lately, are in
the group. They played the sort of dense, heavy emo HC that's all
the vogue around here lately. A little bit Gorilla Biscuits, a
little bit Fugazi and a little bit just plain screamin'. Couldn't
understand a word they said, but I enjoyed their set. (MC are
releasing a record on California's Nervous Wreckids some time soon
- look for it.)

I was planning on skipping Picasso Trigger - they've never really
floated my boat, so to speak - but decided to stay and give them
another chance. Their Southern-fried punk was OK but not
memorable, except for the idiot stagedivers who knocked over two
light towers. (WXJM's faculty advisor came to this show, but
fortunately she left before the lights came down.) PT's best songs
were the ones when singer Kathy pulled out a trumpet or trombone,
but even then they just sounded like Geezer Lake on ephedrine. I
dunno - they didn't fit very well with the other two bands and
they had a bad attitude overall.

Jawbox - well, I like each Jawbox LP more than I liked the
previous one, and apparently that pattern's going to work for live
shows too. I saw Jawbox a few years ago (in between Grippe and
Novelty) and thought they were OK. This time they were great. J.
Robbins (gtr/vox) seemed a little tired (especially when
chastising the afore-mentioned stagedivers) but Bill Barbot
(gtr/vox) made up for it, taping his set list to a fan in the
front row and cracking jokes throughout. Kim Coleatta (bs) was the
most fun to watch, though - during the first few songs she had
this goofy "Uh, how're we doing?" look on her face, followed by an
equally goofy "Aw, thanks guys" look between songs. (She also
jumped around a lot, like Laura from Superchunk - is this a female
bassist's thing? Beats me.) Jawbox played several songs from their
big-time LP For Your Own Special Sweetheart as well as a few songs
from earlier LPs and a couple of new ones. They may be some huge
rock stars now (I heard some high school kids went and got
autographs) but they're as personable as ever, and they put on a
fantastic set, Atlantic or not. (So all the people whining about
them leaving Dischord can shut up. Now.)

Final count: Two great bands, one OK band, two light towers down,
one stagediver injury, and the radio station turned a profit for
the first time ever (at one of these shows.) Awesome.

Coursing Thru The Wires



(TG's cool stuff of the month)

MARK
+ LaBradford, "Julius" (Merge)
+ Slint, untitled 10" (Touch & Go)
+ Stereolab, Mars Audiac Quintet (Elektra)
+ The Fall, Middle Class Revolt (Matador)
+ Slug, The Out Sound (PCP)
+ Brise-Glace, When In Vanitas... (Skin Graft)
+ Noise Addict, "Young And Jaded" (Grand Royal)
+ Lync, These Are Not Fall Colors (K)
+ Smog, Burning Kingdom (Drag City)
+ East River Pipe, Shining Hours In A Can (Ajax)
+ Very Pleasant Neighbor, The Boy With Only One Head (Big Ten
Rex/D-Tox)
+ Muppet Voice zine (contact johnson@mail.ph.ac.ed.uk for info)
+ Talk Soup (E! Entertainment Television)
+ Disney's decision not to build a theme park in Haymarket, VA
(population <1000)
+ URouLette
+ Sam & Max Hit The Road CD-ROM (LucasArts)
+ Fruitopia Lemonade Love & Hope (Coca-Cola - ditch the
hippy-shit name, d00dz)
+ Lettuce

SEAN


Hmmm... tougher choices this time due to less influx of new
music... lots of evenings spent with my trusty Mac and my stereo
have led to a renewed look through my record collection...
+ Television Personalities, Live at Forum Enger (Pastell)
+ Bullet LaVolta, Swandive ("some icky major label")
+ Death of Samantha, "Strungout On Jargon" (Homestead)
+ The Clean, Compilation (Homestead/Flying Nun) - I'm still
meaning to get the CD version with about 30 more songs, but
hearing "Slug Song" first thing in the morning is a good way
to avoid the "wrong side of the bed" blues.
+ The Skatalites, "Guns of Navarone"
+ Rolando and the Soul Brothers, "Phoenix City"
+ The Gaylads, "Stop Making Love"
+ Rita Marley, "The Pied Piper" [All these songs are on a great
compilation called Club Ska '67 (Mango) and they make me
dance, not just bob my head over/under/sideways/down, which
finally brings me to...]
+ Yardbirds, Great Hits of... (Atlantic)

JODI
+ fluf, Home Improvements : It's old, yeah, but these guys make
music that reminds me of the days when I could actually dance
a little. I saw that horrible Tower Records magazine compare
them to Husker Du, which isn't really fair to both bands. O's
voice is a lot like Burton Cummings'.
+ Polonium, Safe: Some of my old next door neighbors are in
this band, and the tape is 45 minutes of Earth/Melvins/Zeni
Geva inspired stuff. I listen to it while I back up the
systems here and it makes the time go by much quicker. They
do a cover of ZG's "Autobody" live too. $4 from 2486 Hughes
Ave. #7, Bronx, NY 10458.
+ The Baffler #5: I dare you to read it all in one sitting. No,
I double dog dare you.
+ Pulp Fiction: All I can say is Samuel L. Jackson should be
nominated for an Academy Award. Sure there was a lot of hype,
but it's all true.
+ Sound Master: A little freeware program for the Macintosh
that lets you assign sounds to different keys, like the
delete or escape keys, as well as grow/shrink windows,
errors, etc. It's great for the clueless in your office, who
will call you over and say "My mac hates me, it belched when
I emptied the trash!"

Credits

+ Publishers: Telegraph Pioneers Of America
+ Editor: Mark Cornick
+ Senior Writers: Sean Murphy, Jodi Shapiro
+ Postmaster: Sean Murphy
+ Subscription requests should be addressed to
grumpy@access.digex.net. Other Telegraph-related mail
should be addressed to mscornic@vax1.acs.jmu.edu. (These
addresses point to real people, not LISTSERVs or Majordomos,
so please phrase your requests in human language.) Authors of
individual articles can be contacted at the address listed
above their article.

Telegraph archives

+ http://www.etext.org/Zines/Telegraph/
+ ftp://ftp.etext.org/pub/Zines/Telegraph/
+ gopher://gopher.etext.org/


The entire contents of Telegraph Transmission Three, The Search
For Spock are in the public domain. Please copy and distribute. We
would appreciate it if you would leave these credits intact.

Opinions presented in articles are those of the individual authors
and do not necessarily represent the opinions of anyone else.
Please address rebuttals, me-toos, or hate mail to the individual
authors, not to TG in general.

On a similar topic, while we believe everything printed here to be
true, we cannot under any circumstances guarantee it. That is,
anything written here may not be factually correct. Errors are the
fault of the individual authors.

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