Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" ...

Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. Sell Girl Scout cookies. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. Shave. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall...

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation." Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up. Answer their questions with questions. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful. Use these bo...

Try this if you dare ! NB: You must write down or remember your answers and DON'T CHEAT!!!!! Do we have a 4th of July in England? Yes/No How many birthdays does the average man have? Some months have 31 days; how many have 28? Is it legal for a man in Scotland to marry his widow's sister? Yes/No Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer? If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have? A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half an hour. How many minutes would the pills last? A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left? How many animals of each sex did Moses t...

SYSTEM PROBLEM REPORT This is a form to make the reporting of problems consistent, allow records of problems to be kept, and a method of discouraging users from reporting faults in the first place. *Your name? ___________________ *Your login name? ____________________ *The date? __/__/__ *The date the problem first occured if different? __/__/__ *Problem Severity: Minor__ Minor__ Minor__ Minor__ *Which machine? ____________________ *Which area appears to be at fault? Communications__ Disk__ Base Unit__ Network__ Keyboard__ Screen__ Mouse__ Everything__ Don't Know__ *Is it plugged in? Yes__ No__ *Is it switched on? Yes...

An engineer dies An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his folder and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." St. Peter sends the engineer to the gates of hell instead and Satan lets him in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going gr...

There are twelve black dots in the intersections in this image. Your brain won't let you see them all at one. Can you see them ?

Drawing Hands is a lithograph by the Dutch artist M. C. Escher first printed in January 1948. It depicts a sheet of paper out of which, from wrists that remain flat on the page, two hands rise, facing each other and in the paradoxical act of drawing one another into existence.

Dragon is a wood engraving print created by Dutch artist M. C. Escher in April 1952, depicting a folded paper dragon perched on a pile of crystals. It is part of a sequence of images by Escher depicting objects of ambiguous dimension, including also Three Spheres I, Doric Columns, Drawing Hands and Print Gallery.

Waterfall is a lithograph by the Dutch artist M. C. Escher, first printed in October 1961. It shows a perpetual motion machine where water from the base of a waterfall appears to run downhill along the water path before reaching the top of the waterfall.

Horseman by Maurits Cornelis Escher.