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, ____, ( 01/09/01 anada425 ,
/ \ ,_____ (--|_\_,,_, _ _| _ __________ ,-.______ _,---._ __ _/ \
/ \+------ _| ) | |(_|(_|(_|_ .net------/ )----.-' `./-/ \
/ / ( |__, ( ( ,' `/ /|
\ / "'The Erotic Misadventures of \ `-" \'\ / |
\ / the Letter Q,' Parts One and Two" `. , \ \ / |
Y-------- ----------/`. ,'-`----Y |
/ by Aura Noir ( ; mEoW!@/| '
i________________________________________________| ,-. ,-'_______/ | /
| | | ( * | /
|____________________ Anada is cat-friendly! __) |__\ `.___________|/
`--' `--'
1 - Under the Bridge
It was July, and Quincy couldn't find what he was looking for. {Where
the fuck is it?} He looked everywhere; the house, the car, the basement,
but could not for the life of him find it anywhere. He began to think that
maybe someone was playing a trick on him, that someone, in the midst of some
cruel fantasy, was taking pleasure in watching him squirm. His mom told him
to forget it. "It's water under the bridge," she said. {How can I move on
mom? How? You don't know what this means to me.}
He didn't know what to do. So he went to the park.
Matthias Park was a short walk from Quincy's house. Down Aviator
Lane, take a left on Green Street, then a right on Matthias, it's right
there on the left. He always came here to think, to play some basketball
with Jim and Tom, or to just relax under the pavilion and watch the other
people. He'd been coming here as long as he could remember. {I wish they
still had that huge slide.}
The park itself was nothing special; maybe five or eight acres of
land in Aston, an old suburb about two miles from the St. Louis city limits.
As Quincy moped across the crumbled gray parking lot he thought about his
childhood. {I wonder when Johnny's coming back into town?} There was
concrete here near the perpetually locked restroom shack. As the lower-
middle class neighborhood's closest equivalent to a water park, this slab
housed a round sprinkler in the dead center that was activated on hot days,
sending soothing, if sparse bursts of liquid cool into the air and down upon
the sweaty heads of the local youth. {I used to love that sprinkler.} This
was Mecca to many a child in the area. The sprinkler had gone unused so far
today, however, and the whole park seemed barren and dry. Meager and
browned chain-link fences ran along the entire boundaries of the park and
protected the houses that lay beyond. {When we were kids we counted
thirteen "Keep Out" signs.}
But the creek was where Quincy stopped today. He hardly ever went
past it. He walked along the banks until he reached the far right drainage
pipe. It was always dry at this end, and the tunnel offered some degree of
privacy. This was his favorite place. He crawled inside and sat down.
{Where did I leave it? Think, damnit, think!} He sat there for some time.
Later, Quincy barely noticed the shadow that came over him and
blocked the light from the outside world.
"Hey!" a soft voice said, its tones bouncing off the walls of this
concrete cylinder.
Quincy jumped, fearing the voice belonged to a park ranger. There
were only two rangers, and they were hardly ever around, but both officers
hated when people went into the pipe. {Some kids drowned one spring. Like
ten years ago.} But when he saw the cigarette burning between two fingers
he relaxed.
"What's up, Lucy?"
"Not much. Your mom said you were here. Listen, Jim's got a Mario
Kart tournament going and needs you for his team, so let's go."
"I don't know. I'm not really in the mood. I mean, I'll probably be
over there eventually. Who's all there?"
"Tommy and Dawn and Mike and Joanne. Jo's brother got us some beer,
if that's any incentive. You know how bad Jim is. He told me not to take
no for an answer." She flicked her finished cigarette into a small pool of
water. "But I don't really give a shit about Mario Kart, and I know you'll
turn up eventually. We're having fun, though. You should come."
"Tell him I'll be over there... I don't know. What time is it?"
Lucy reached for her pager. "It is... now officially... quarter to
four."
"Tell him I'll be over there by five, and if not, too bad."
"You sure? 'Cause if you are, I guess I'll be headed back. You sure
you're all right?"
"I'm fine. I just want to chill for a while. Gimme a cigarette
before you go."
She sighed. Quincy never bought his own smokes. "Here. I'll see
you later. I'll just tell him you're in one of your moods, ok?"
"Whatever. See you."
"Bye. I hope you feel better."
As Lucy walked away, Quincy lit his cigarette and watched her ascent,
back towards civilization. {Now I really feel bad.} He could see why Jim
was madly in love with her. She was as cute as hell. Her short jet-black
hair and geeky rectangular glasses accented her small nose and lips, and
took her general cuteness to the next level. But Quincy had come to love
her like a sister, and that fact ruined any chance of romantic success
between the two. It didn't bother either of them, though. She and Quincy
had made out a couple times while drunk and it caused more problems than it
solved. {She's definitely hot, though.}
Quincy forgot Lucy quickly, however, and returned to the task at
hand. {Why can't I ever remember where I leave shit?} He gazed out the
tunnel and his attention shifted to a small pool of water collecting under
the nearest of the park's two bridges. {Water. I bet the water knows.
There's water everywhere. Water knows where it is. I wish I could ask it.
With my luck it would tell me to forget the whole thing too.} After a
while, he got up and out of the tunnel, and walked over to the pool,
kneeling to look at it more closely. Aiming for the reflection of his nose,
he dropped his cigarette. He couldn't tell if he hit it because the butt
scattered the image, but he noticed that this was the same pool where Lucy
had thrown hers.
As Quincy started the long walk up the hill and toward Jim's house,
he spotted the concrete water park at the top. There were kids playing
under a cascade of liquid crystals now, and Quincy forgot, if only for a
moment, about the thing he lost, and smiled to himself. {I wish I were
still a little kid. We had so much fun. Every day we just ran around or
rode our bikes around like idiots, but it was great. I don't want to be an
adult. Shit happens. Being a kid... that's just water under the bridge.}
[*****]
2 - Fish Don't Count
Jim's house, 6:00 p.m.
Everyone was under. Tommy had snuck off and gotten the dog high.
The fish don't count. Everyone was under, and it was obvious something was
wrong.
"Dude, just get over it."
"What the fuck's your problem? Look around, man. Life is good."
"Are you gonna finish that, Q?"
"I... I saw a... I... saw... are you cool or what?"
"Get over it, Q."
"You want to talk about it?"
Lucy. {The perpetually caring individual}. A kind word, when
needed, never failed to float from her lips. Often it pierced its target's
heart with an aim that only she could command. {Stupid compassion...}
"Not really." Quincy was lying.
"You're lying. Come on, you're coming with me." Lucy, despite
Miller-stunted motor skills, pulled Quincy up from his spot on the couch and
dragged him to the bedroom. Like a dead fish, Quincy didn't really
struggle, but nonetheless weighed a ton. She closed the door, after a
fierce yet brief battle across the basement floor.
"Now: why are you bumming everyone out? Listen, I can help. You
know me. Just tell me what's wrong. You know I'm not gonna judge you or
anything. I'm not gonna just sit here and let you mope if I can do
something about it." {I neither want nor need your help. You're just going
to get all pissed anyway.} Lucy can get tough when heartache is on the
line. It was a long time before Quincy responded. He just sort of sat
there looking at the floor.
"I know, Lucy. It's just that... I don't know. I don't think you'd
understand, I guess. I just feel like... like I'm not a whole person
anymore. That everything that used to make me me is now gone. And I don't
know how to get it back."
Lucy knew. "Is this about..."
"Yes."
"Shit. You lost it?"
"Yes."
"Fuck! You should have told me, Q. You should of fucking told me."
"I did."
"I meant sooner! Goddamnit Quincy... we need to find it. Where did
you see it last?"
{I hate that question.} Quincy had gone through all of this in his
mind many times since the morning. One of the reasons he was dreading
telling her was for this very reason; she couldn't really help, and would
just tell him shit he already knew. Still he was honest. "I did this
already, Lucy. It's..." {Never coming back.} "I don't know. I don't know
where to even begin to look."
Lucy was getting angry. She couldn't stand self-pity. "Listen up,
kid: I am NOT going to sit here and let you swim around in your own god
damned sea of depression. There's no way I'm going to let you flounder.
You've got me. I can help, but you're going to have to listen to me and let
me help you." Lucy was as nice as could be to a friend in need, but got
frustrated easily, which usually came out as perceived anger. {Tough
love... I don't deserve it.} "Ok. Let's not argue. The fact is, it has to
be somewhere. I think we both know that it couldn't be gone com-"
"That's not the point!" Quincy suddenly got very defensive of his
own situation. {You don't know shit.} "The point is that I don't have it.
I'm not going to get my hopes up just because it 'could still be around,'
wherever that may be. Whatever you do, do not let me get my hopes up! The
fact is that I DON'T HAVE IT." He looked at the blue carpet. Lucy did the
same. She looked up at Quincy, but he stared into the blue for another
minute. "And I want it back."
Neither said anything after this.
A long while passed and Lucy moved and sat next to Quincy.
Still silence.
Truth. "It's going to be ok."
Soft words. "It will. Trust me."
Repetition. {"It's going to be ok."}
Denial. {No it's not.}
"No. It's not going to be ok. 'I-don't-have-it' plus 'I-need-it'
plus 'I-don't-know-where-it-is' equals 'No-it's-not-going-to-be-ok.'
Everything is different now. We're in a new school and everyone's laughing.
Like you said, I'm floundering. It's not going to magically appear. It's
not gonna call and say, 'Hey, come pick me up.'"
Lucy had her arm around Quincy, and started to reply, but Jim
exploded from behind the door. "Dude, your mom's on the phone." {Shit.
Just what I need.}
"Hello?
"Yeah. I hear you.
"What? Who is he?
"Ok, I'll be right home." Quincy was smiling now. Lucy gaped
wondering "what the hell?" Jim just snorted and looked around. "Listen,
Lucy, Jim. Thanks but I gotta go. Lucy: call me at like 10, ok?" Quincy
was beaming now, and flushed. But his eyes were all business. To Lucy, he
said, "I think I got it!"
"Holy shit, no way! What did your mom say?" Shock ravaged Lucy's
senses.
"Dude, I don't..." Confusion (and beer) ravaged Jim's senses.
"There's no time. I gotta book." Excitement ravaged Quincy's
senses.
Lucy tried to stop him, but to no avail. "Wait, Q! You told me not-"
And with that, Quincy shot out of the room, said "see ya" in passing
to the rest of the group, sped up the stairs, out the door, and was on his
way home. In 30 seconds he had passed Matthias Park. He didn't even look
at it.
Back at his house, Jim was oblivious to the situation. "Dude, Quincy
knows how to make an exit, man." He was talking to everyone, but nobody
listened. "Dude, that dude is awesome. Like a fuckin'... shark. Or
something, man. He just fuckin' darted, man. Dude, just like a shark!
Shit. Sharks, like, always get what they want. Fuckin' king of the jungle
man. Everybody respects the fuckin' shark." Jim stumbled into a chair, and
laughed at himself. Lucy didn't.
At the word "shark," she shot a glance at Jim. She found herself
more worried than relieved at Quincy's excitement. He had told her not to
let him get his hopes up. She wished Jim wasn't brain dead. Quincy could
use a friend like him. But Jim's words were not lost to Lucy, and she
didn't agree at all. "Jim." He looked around a second before focusing on
her. "A shark is just a fish."
Huddled against herself, against Jim's unwavering obliviousness, and
against the pressure of the reality of this fucked-up situation, Lucy began
to sob quietly and choked out one final sentence before leaving the house
altogether: "Fish don't count."
And she knew he would get eaten alive.
/\___/\ ____________________________________________________________ /\___/\
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`-.^.-' (c) 2001 Anada e'zine by Aura Noir `-.^.-'
/"\ ________________________________________________________________ /"\
