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y0lk-052
--(y0lk)-----------------------------------------------------------------------
y0lk #52: ode to my feet
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well. y0lk again. uhm, i was in an airport lounge in tokyo for 9
hours today... big flight delay. but luckily, i had my trusty laptop with me
and i was feeling heroic, so here are some of the results of my boredom.
--(p0etriez)-------------------------------------------------------------------
stuff in my room #1: mug
in my room,
on my bookshelf,
lies a legend.
an idol.
a miracle.
it is a soda can
i bought it at school
but i didn't drink it.
i wasn't thirsty
so i just brought it home.
and put it on my bookshelf.
it is a can of mug root beer.
i like mug.
spelled backwards, it is gum.
spelled inside-out, it is ugm.
go hang a salami, i'm a lasagna hog!
that was a palindrome.
i used to buy a can of mug every day at school
around 2:00pm.
but it caught on
and everyone started doing it.
so i stopped
because i heard somewhere that being trendy was bad.
everyone knows about my can of mug.
as i said,
it is a legend.
some people worship it, i think.
if you rearrange the letters in 'axl rose'
you get 'oral sex'
the mug has been there
for a long time.
it has probably expired
and if i drink it, i may die.
but it'd sure as hell be worth it.
does mug expire? i do not know.
--(w0o)------------------------------------------------------------------------
stuff in my room #2: the penny.
in my room,
in a bag in the closet,
lies a penny.
a giant penny.
it's really big.
it's just plain huge, man.
it's about a foot in diameter,
or something like that.
i don't know.
i'm not good with measuring.
or estimating.
oh, well.
i think
my parents bought it for me
a long time ago.
they were on vacation somewhere.
maybe arizona,
i forget.
i like the penny.
it is big and you can see abraham lincoln
really close-up and stuff.
my dad has an indian-head giant penny.
i want it.
i wish he would give it to me so i could have two giant pennies.
well,
i dunno.
there's not much to say.
all i know
is that the penny is really big.
you'll have to take my word for it.
--(w0o)------------------------------------------------------------------------
stuff in my room #3: those airline thingies.
in my room,
in a cabinet by the computer,
lies two really cool thingies.
they're really cool.
there are two of them.
and they're really cool.
you know those thingies
that the guys hold on the runway
to guide airplanes in?
they're like two big flashlights
with red cones on the end.
well, that's what they are. they're really cool.
i take them with me whenever i go out.
but i never go out,
so they don't get much exercise.
but i don't think they care
because they don't complain much.
they're too cool for that.
one time i took them to school
and guided the other students
into the lunchline
and then directed traffic in the halls.
then jeremy hoovenaar took one
and pretended he was darth vader.
and a few months ago
i went to a play at my friend josh's school
the play sucked
but afterwards,
i went outside and directed traffic.
people thought i was a real traffic-director guy.
they say lufthansa on them
because my parents got them for me
from lufthansa airlines.
if lufthansa airlines gives these things away,
they must rule.
i've never flown lufthansa.
anyway,
i like the little airline thingies.
they are my favorite toys.
they're really cool.
i like them.
they're really cool.
--(index)----------------------------------------------------------------------
.d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b.
$ ## $ title $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $
$ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $
$ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $
$ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet $ phorce $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $
$ 28 $ the army day camp $ belial $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day $ creed $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings $ hooch $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver! $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur $ bedlam $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan $ creed $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines $ hooch $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears $ phorce $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't $ creed $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate $ creed $
$ 38 $ snowday $ phorce $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d $ creed $
$ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth $ bighurt $
$ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue $ bighurt $
$ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet $ hooch $
$ 43 $ abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! $ creed $
$ 44 $ mogel's own very special personalized $1 y0lk issue $ phorce $
$ 45 $ your burro is no jackass! $ creed $
$ 46 $ rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars $ creed $
$ 47 $ outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers $ creed $
$ 48 $ Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off $ creed $
$ 49 $ 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life $ creed $
$ 50 $ the best of the worst $ creed $
$ 51 $ the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave $ creed $
"T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T"
--(infoez)---------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz he's just so damn wacky-ass.
email creed@nexxus.novasys.com to contact me. yep.
