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y0lk-058
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"my place, or yours?"
submitted by - mercuri
dinner at my house, to me, is the most dreaded part of the day. my
dad has this silly notion in his head that he is _funny_. he constantly
bombards me with 'jokes' trying to earn my respect or something, not sure.
every night, it never fails, the conversation goes something like this;
"hey jay.. what's up?"
"nothing much..."
at this point, if the TV's not on, i insist it's goes on to break the
silence.
"ow!@ god! that's hot!" i say...
"you always cook it to hot.. hun!" exclaims my father (which is the
truth)
while i let the food cool off, my dad tries for some more winning
conversation...
"anything happen at school today?"
"nope."
he know's that is always the answer, because if i told him what
happened, he'd probably fall into a state of shock.. that's how he is...
one time i told him about a fight there was in school, man, what a mistake,
I was there answering questions for another half-hour.
Now that the rite's of the table have passed, food has cooled, school
question's ask.. this is what happened today.
"mmm.. hun, this is great!" dad
"and it's good for you, too!" mom
( it's salmon loaf, smells like crap, i won't touch it. )
"you should have some, jay!"
"that's okay, if my nose doesn't trust it, my stomach won't."
"oh.. c'mon, put some catsup on it! mask the smell!" dad
"that's disgusting." me
"it was a joke! you never laugh at my jokes!" dad
"say something funny, and i'll laugh." me
"you used to laugh at my jokes." dad
"they _used_ to be funny." me
"no really though, you should try this catsup, it's delicious!" dad
"give me a glass." me (sarcastically.)
"what kind of catsup is this honey?" dad
"heinz." mom
"get it more often." dad
"we get it all the time." mom
"we must have got a good batch this time!" dadc says proudly
"i can't beleive it! he doesn't laugh at my jokes!" he tells my
mother happily...
<looks at me> "he's not laughing!" dad
"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" me
all of what you have seen? loop it. loop it five to ten more times,
and that's our conversation, we go back and forth, forth and back.
--(notes)----------------------------------------------------------------------
passive angst at its best. thanks, mercuri. uhm, just a note, the
k-eleet haxors of phoenix 201 are now our official telecom guys. this means
more recognition for them, and more fun confs for us. so. they're cool guys.
phear them.
--(index/stuff)----------------------------------------------------------------
.d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b.
$ ## $ title $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $
$ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $
$ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $
$ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet $ phorce $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $
$ 28 $ the army day camp $ belial $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day $ creed $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings $ hooch $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver! $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur $ bedlam $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan $ creed $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines $ hooch $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears $ phorce $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't $ creed $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate $ creed $
$ 38 $ snowday $ phorce $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d $ creed $
$ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth $ bighurt $
$ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue $ bighurt $
$ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet $ hooch $
$ 43 $ abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! $ creed $
$ 44 $ mogel's own very special personalized $1 y0lk issue $ phorce $
$ 45 $ your burro is no jackass! $ creed $
$ 46 $ rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars $ creed $
$ 47 $ outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers $ creed $
$ 48 $ Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off $ creed $
$ 49 $ 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life $ creed $
$ 50 $ the best of the worst $ creed $
$ 51 $ the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave $ trip $
$ 52 $ ode to my feet $ creed $
$ 53 $ hopelessly lost $ poots $
$ 54 $ the schoolhouse r0x!# $ phorce $
$ 55 $ campbell's chicken-noodle soup omen of death $ creed $
$ 56 $ dead cats $ juke $
$ 57 $ my inner taco $ handle $
$ 58 $ my place, or yours? $ mercuri $
"T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T"
--(infoez)---------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz he's just so damn wacky-ass.
email creed@nexxus.novasys.com to contact me. yep.
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /pub/ftp/phorce/y0lk
