Mind Warp File 74

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Mind Warp

 · 5 years ago

  

 
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              [ Mind Warp  -  Volume #5, Issue #03, File #074 ] 
                   [ "New Handgun Application" by Raven ] 

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                          New Hand Gun Application 
                                  [raven] 
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        Ok, after living in Texas for a few months now, I've decided that 
the US needs a better application for people who want to purchase handguns. 
If a person answers yes to any of the following questions, then they cannot 
purchase a gun, if they answer yes to 3 or more of the questions, they should 
be locked up. 

1.  Do you live in Texas and are PROUD of being a Texan? 
2.  Do you sort mail for the US postal service? 
3.  Do you use Prozac? 
4.  If you have ever been in the military : 
      a.  Do you feel the government has wronged you? (besides being 
          unwillingly drafted) 
      b.  Do you feel the people of the US have wronged you? 
      c.  Do you often feel that someone is watching you? 
      d.  Do you often feel that everyone is out to get you? 
      e.  Have you ever slept with your gun? 
      f.  Were you ever expirimented upon with LSD while in the military? 
5.  If you are an active church goer : 
      a.  Do you plan on stock-piling your weapons? 
      b.  Do you believe that you or any member of your church is a prophet? 
      c.  Do you believe that you or any member of your church is God? 
6.  Do you regularly use any of the following as pronouns : 
      "Joe," "Bra," "Dawg," "Ese," "Vato." 
7.  Do you often talk of wanting to "put a cap in [someone]'s ass" because 
    they wronged you? 
8.  Do you think seven (7) is an appropriate age to teach your child(ren) to 
    shoot a gun. 
9.  Do you plan to use teflon-coated(armor piercing) or hollow-point 
    (man-stopper) bullets? 
10. Is the second amendment to the US Constitution your favorite amendment? 
11. Did you get upset when the Brady Bill was passed? 
12. Are you a member of, or do you plan on joining a militia? 
13. Have you willingly watched the movie 'Platoon' over five times? 
14. Do you hear voices? 
15. Do you wish to kill off any group of people? (determined by race, 
    religion, nationality, ethnic background or political affiliation (with 
    the exception of french Canadians who wish to secede from Canada, and 
    real french people who like to test nuclear weapons; All of these people 
    should die.)) 

Welp, that's it.  Ummm... ok. 

raven(69) <raven96@hic.net> 

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