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Milk_Issue_39
Ü Ü Ü Mighty Issue #39
Ü Ü Û Û Ü illicit "Malakai's Guide to Finer BBSing"
Û ß Û Û Û ÛÛ Liquid -By Malakai
ß ß ß ß ß ß Kollections
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄ ÄÄ ÄÄ Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä
Hello! Welcome to Malakai's Guide to Finer BBSing. In this short TFile
I will explain the various types of BBSes, the types of people you'll find,
and other various BBS informational goodies! But be sure you take the Moron
Test to see if you qualify as a Moron, an Average, or a Good user; This will
furthur personalize this manual to fit YOUR needs!
ÛÛÛÛ²²²²±±±±°°°° MORON TEST °°°°±±±±²²²²ÛÛÛÛ
Question 1: In what frequency per call do you use the words HEY or WAZZUP <or
any derrivitave thereof> to one given person?
A) NONE (0 points)
B) ONCE (1 point)
C) TWICE (2 points)
D) THREE (3 points)
Question 2: In what frequency do you download files over 200k large that are
not TFiles?
A) NEVER (0 points)
B) RARELY (1 point)
C) SOMETIMES (2 points)
D) OFTEN (3 points)
Question 3: In what frequency do you type in all CAPS when not nessecary?
A) NEVER (0 points)
B) RARELY (1 point)
C) SOMETIMES (2 points)
D) OFTEN (3 points)
Question 4: In what frequency do you type private messages in a public message
base?
A) NEVER (0 points)
B) RARELY (1 point)
C) SOMETIMES (2 points)
D) OFTEN (3 points)
Question 5: In what frequency do you type private messages that are one line
and say things that mean nothing to either of you?
A) NEVER (0 points)
B) RARELY (1 point)
C) SOMETIMES (2 points)
D) OFTEN (3 points)
Question 6: How often do you upload/download ElItE WaReZ?
A) NEVER (0 points)
B) RARELY (1 point)
C) SOMETIMES (2 points)
D) OFTEN (3 points)
Give yourself 1 point if you DL X-Rated GIFs, another 1 if you look at them, and
another 2 if you talk about them online in messages or private mail (Private is
just 1 point)
Give yourself 2 points if you just go online to read messages and then logoff,
but never reply.
TOTAL UP THE POINTS NOW! :)
0-6 points; You are a good user! Hopefully you will call anywhere you can.
7-12 points; You are ok t'have around. Try n' get rid of the bad habits ;)
12-15 points; You should try and gain some social skills before calling.
16+ points; Here's a quarter, get a life pal. Just don't call my system!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Types of BBSes <and a little of what they offer>
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ElItE WaReZ bOaRdZ: These boards are bad for the starting caller; You will not
gain access here. Online here, all that goes on is file uploading and download-
ing, VERY seldom are there good posters on these types of boards. Unfortunately
for people like me, these boards are becoming more popular. If you scored a 6
and below I would not recommend calling, as you would probably not like it; The
people here do not post or talk, they don't like people who come in and try and
disrupt this way of life they have.
Message Boards: These boards are good for starting callers to call, as they are
always open to new callers. Online here, there are <or should be> active message
posting and the conversations should have a demi-intelligent or intelligent
meaning. I would not recommend for 12-15 point scorers to call, but they can.
And 16+ point scorers wouldn't like it here and probably wouldn't last long if
they kept up the bad habits.
Chat Boards: These boards are GREAT for starting callers, they get them hooked.
Many varied types of people call these boards and chat with people; Some have
active message bases, some have active <or just large> file bases. Some have
both. This is ok because they usually have 4 or morelines. I still would not
recommend for 16+ callers to call here; As well as people 12 and under.
Old Computer Boards (Apple, Atari): Do not waste your time, these boards suck.
Anyone can get access, but they have nothing to offer unless you want a game
like "Sticko the Super-Duper-Wuper-TWIG" for your Apple 2e and if you still use
your Apple 2e you probably aren't even reading this Guide!
Commodore 64/128 Boards & Amiga Boards: These boards are unpredicatable. Some
have many lines, others have 1. Some are active, some are not. These are some-
times the best AND worst BBS's to call.
If there is a BBS type you would like added to this Guide, please notify me
on any BBS I am on; Or you can send Internet E-Mail to me at this adress:
Malakai@Thunderbolt.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God Lord! There are People ACTUALLY CALLING!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are many types of people online you may meet and learn to like,
I'll just give you a list of some of the generalities. :)
The Warezman: Doesn't say much, but what he says is usually about warez or is
advertising a WaReZ board. Files: A+, Messages: F, Overall: D
The Messageman: Has a lot on his mind and posts a lot in the messages, doesn't
give a flying fuck about files. Files: F, Messages: A+, Overall: C
The SuperUser: This guy uploads when he can and can always come up with a
response to messages. Files: B Messages: A+, Overall: A-
Joe Average User: Uploads when he wants something, posts when he thinks he
needs to. Files: C, Messages: C, Overall: D
Posting WaReZman: Likes to rip on people usually, try not to talk to them
because they are usually assholes. Files: B-, Messages: C-, Overall: D
MiLK Writer: Writes these stupid TFiles. :)
Files: A+ <because what they write is cool>
Messages: A+ <see Files>
Overall: F <figure this one out> :)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BBS FUN! <Fun things to do on your local BORING BBS>
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) Logon and tell everyone that the Feds are watching the BBS Closely! Start
a rumor that the sysop blabbed on everyone there. Watch the LaMerZ SQUIRM!
2) Logon under a fake account and pretend you are from the FBI <this is a
BLAST on Elite boards, freaks the shit out of em, they usually drop carrier
after awhile>; Say you are investigating a report of Piracy on the BBS <if
you hate a certain member of the BBS, snitch on 'em>
3) Upload a virus contaminated file under a fake account and see if the Sysop
REALLY scans them.
4) Upload a file PRN or LPT1 and see what fun things happen! <grin>
5) Upload MiLKView there!
6) Try and hack the Sysop's account about 30 times, then logon as a NEW user
with the handle, "IMA HACKER"
7) Pretend you are writing an MCI message <telegard/renegade boards only> but
<only if you have this information> instead reveal all your enemies information!
<Do this ONLY with a fake account!> It's GREAT for pissing of Sysops and Users
alike!
If you can think of any other fun things to do on Local, Boring BBS's, write
me in the CyberSpace...
UNTIL THEN, This is MALAKAI! Signing off...
Ducks! Ducks! Everywhere! You cannot see them! They're not there!
Û Û [MiLK] Information
Û Û
Û Û [MiLK] Sites:
Û Û
Û Û The Obloid Sphere..........(708)965-3098 [14,400]
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û CUM........................(708)961-1220 [14,400]
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Asylum.................(908)914-9318 [14,400]
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û (NUP) I LOVE FEDS
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û [MiLK] Issue #039, "The Guide to Finer BBSing" by Malakai
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ This file is Exactly 7826 bytes long
