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Text File #1 :::. Spirit of Entropy
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ :: :igital ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
8 February 1994 :::' Mongoloid Telecom
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::. rection
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'Modem Wrestling Federation Returns!'
by Spirit of Entropy
In conjunction with Necropolis telecom enterprises ...........
T H E
M O D E M W R E S T L I N G F E D E R A T I O N
It's here once again friends and neighbors, the 1994 edition of the Modem
Wrestling Federation!
It's sheer chaos here at the Akron Rubber Bowl! The stadium is filled to
capacity with modem users from around the country to view this battle for
possession of the coveted Modem Wrestling Federation Championship belt!
Coming up the isle side to the music of Tom Petty's 'Rebel Without a Clue'
... it's the community's favorite modem rebel, Sorc! Sorc is sauntering down
the isle accompanied by several Glenoak high school students. All of them seem
less than completely 'here'. Sorc grabs the ring microphone. "Hey! Fuck
society! The country is completely fucked! Lets tear it DOWN!!!!!" The
Akron Bowl is filled with yells as the crowd goes wild. Burnouts flail
their fists into the air to enact their cathardic ritual of rebellion.
Next ... to the strains of the Doors 'People are Strange' ... it's that
master of telechat, the Lord of Chat Sex ... LARRY SMITH! Yes, the sysop of
The Canton Connection is HERE! Many members of the crowd look on in wonder,
wondering about the many rumors surrounding this local Stark sysop.
Larry goes to the mic. "I run a clean system. You don't have to pay if you
don't want to. I don't encourage any kind of unwholesomeness".
"Hey, you perverted loser!" screams someone from the crowd. "We've got
CAPTURES of Ramsey and other losers from your BBS having CHAT SEX with young
children! Ever heard of 'pandering pornographic materials to minors'!"
"Fuck off Elminster," screams Larry. "I kicked you off my BBS, and now you'll
NEVER get back on!"
Guest Referee Virgin Sacrifice rings the bell...
"Hey, Larry. I've got 5 fakes on your pathetic system! Go pound salt!",
screams Elminster.
"Why, you..." mutters Larry. Larry unfortunatly hasn't noticed that the match
has begun! Sorc comes up behind Larry and slams him with capture buffers of
chat sex on the Canton Connection!
"Hey, let me introduce you to the county prosecutor after the match ... he's
right over there!," screams Sorc.
"I run the best BBS in the county!", yells Larry, smashing Sorc with a Canton
Connection door program, written by his crony Chaos.
Sorc smashes Larry with a forearm. Larry responds with a sharp kick to the
groin, which drops Sorc sprawling to the matt. Larry then begins to kick Sorc
while he's down ... of course!
"Hey, what's going on there?" asks new modem user Dick Hertz. "That's illegal!
Where's the referee?". The crowd starts to look around. Oh, no! Virgin
Sacrifice has been cornered by horny modem males! Shaboo and Ironman have got
her in a corner!
"C'mon baby!", says Shaboo. "My wife will never know!"
"This is fucking BULLSHIT!" screams Dick.
"Well then, go do something about it!" yells Elminster. "If you want to be a
sysop, do something memorable!" Dick looks at the disgusting scene, unsure of
what he can do ... meanwhile, in the ring ...
Larry has got Sorc in a choke hold! Sorc is starting to lose consciousness!
What's this? Chaos and Ramsey from Canton Connection are in the ring! Ramsey
is smashing Ryan with his 'Open Letter to the Canton Connection'!
"If I want to molest children, i'll molest children!" hollers Ramsey. "You
might be smarter than I am, better looking, and generally a superior human
being ... but ... but ...". Ramsey looks confused. Chaos smacks Sorc with a
text file on the donation structure of TCC. Meanwhile....
"Look, Dick..." says Elminster. "I don't dislike you or anything. You just
wanted to run a BBS all of a sudden ... and i've seen too many rodent hole
systems. I didn't mean to come down on you. Look. Lets go save VS. Maybe Sorc
will give us higher access!"
"Yeah!", says Dick Hertz. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. It just
pissed me of. You don't even know me. Well ... lets kick some ass!"
Dick and Elminster jump from their seats and run down to the emergency exit,
where Virgin Sacrifice is being molested.
"C'mon baby ... you KNOW you want it!" says Ironman, stroking VS's upper arm.
"You modem geeks! I'd rather gargle with broken glass then TOUCH you! I have a
life! I have a MIND! I'm going to be SOMEONE, unlike YOU!". Suddenly, Ironman
is DOWN! Dick Hertz is smashing him with his high school text books! Next,
Dick rips him with a capture of his various angry messages to Elminster!
"I'm going to make you sorry you messed with me Elminster!" says Shaboo.
Elminster looks unconcerned. "The Goddess hagave me a gift. Want to see it?"
Elminster pulls out a diskette of some sort... it's GOLD! It's GLOWING!
"This represents the sum total of my experience as a modem user." says
Elminster. "8 years ... 3 BBS systems ... you're screwed!". The disk pulses
with light, and Shaboo is down on the floor ... out cold!
"What the hell was that?" asks Hertz, wiping blood from his hands.
"Just make sure to disinfect that hand. TCC user and all ... you know what
they say ... 'An ounce of prevention, because there is no cure!'"
"Thanks for the assist." says VS. "I always knew you didn't hide under a bed
Elminster!"
Back in the ring ....
Sorc is on his last legs. He manages with his last strength to knock Ramsey
and Chaos out of the ring with a copy of his system activity log! "See ... I
have ACTIVE users!" says Sorc to Larry.
Larry is angry. He smashes Sorc with a copy of all of his xxx pervert-special
text files. Sorc is about to go down when .... WHO IS THIS?
A man has leaped into the ring! He smashes Larry with a copy of the Christian
Bible! Larry is stuned!
"Your BBS is a den of perversion! It is an abomination to the Lord, thy God!
Prepare for DOOM!". The man assaults Larry with a crucifix. Larry tries to
protect himself with some photos of one of his various TCC picnics. The
stranger counters with a 'Man O War' CD.
Sorc staggers to his feet. "Go ahead and finish him, neighbor!" yells the
unknown man.
"Hey!" screams Azathoth. "That's Duuk Tsarith!" The crowd gasps in
amazement, surprised to see the infameous modem evangelist in the ring!
Sorc grabs Larry by the shirt front, and clobbers him with his SAT/ACT scores.
He then wacks Larry with various debate researcch. "Fininsh him, baby!"
screams Virgin Sacrifice. "We'll go back to your house, and .... " Sorc wastes
no time. He looks the almost comatose Larry in the eye. "You have many phone
lines. You mave many megs. You have net mail. You can hook your BBS to a Cray,
and it will ALWAYS be what it is ... a sink hole of rodentism. A place for the
idiotic and perverted. I will ALWAYS run the most innovative, creative, and
interesting BBS in the COUNTY!". Sorc winds up .... and smashed Larry with a
copy of his own idiotic, pathetic user registry! Larry is out COLD! He ain't
getting up!
"The winner of tonight's attraction ... the rebirth of the MWF.... Sorc!".
Virgin Sacrifice raises Socr's arm into the air, and gives him a quick kiss to
boot! The crown is on its feet! Cheering is like a wave, rolling over the
Akron Bowl."
"Wait!" yells Sorc, pointing to Duuk Tsarith. "Why did you help me tonight
Duuk? We never agree. We always argue. Why?"
"A spirit of perversion hangs above Larry". Duuk says. "Besides, no matter
what we say to each other ... no matter how often we disagree .. i'll still
pray for you, still try to help you out all I can."
"Well", says Sorc. "I don't believe in this Jesus stuff ... but, what the
hell. You're ok with me!" The crowd gives three cheetrs for Duuk! Even
ELMINSTER!
"What the heck." says Elmmy. "It could be worse. He could be a MORMON!".
Watch for another EXCITING episode of ...........
THE MODEM WRESTLING FEDERATION!!!!!!!!
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
Distorted Digital Erection February 1994 Text File #1
DDE is fully supported on the Necropolis BBS
216.966.8970 - subterranean telecom - All TEXT!
vaginal yeast infections are worse, much worse..
Submissions are accepted. Send your t-file submission to Sorc, on
the Necropolis. If using a new account, (I)nclude the file with
the New User Application.
CHECK for MORE Distorted Digital Erection in the NEAR future!
TCC in CHECK! ... and assorted tales of erect rodentia!...
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
-eof-
